Positive Parenting Tips for Toddlers

Talking To Toddlers

Talking to Toddlers is a program that offers effective parenting tips to help shape behavior in toddlers. It is a creation of Chris Thompson, a parenting professional and certified NLP practitioner. No doubt he has all it takes to address the issue of parenting. The program helps parents understand problems often experienced by children, include the reasons behind their behaviors. In most cases, parents communicate to children in inappropriate ways without know. This may lead kids to behave contrary to parents expectations. This is among the major problems this program helps to fix. You will be able to learn about the word you often misuse and evoke bad reactions from kids. Kids are often misunderstood and this makes it difficult for them to learn. This guide has helped thousands of parents across the world and it is going to help you too. Buy it today and start learning the best strategies you can use to train your children. Continue reading...

Talking To Toddlers Summary


4.7 stars out of 13 votes

Contents: Audio Course
Author: Chris Thompson
Official Website: talkingtotoddlers.com
Price: $37.00

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Talking To Toddlers: Dealing With The Terrible Twos And Beyond

Highly Recommended

Recently several visitors of blog have asked me about this manual, which is being advertised quite widely across the Internet. So I purchased a copy myself to find out what all the excitement was about.

All the modules inside this e-book are very detailed and explanatory, there is nothing as comprehensive as this guide.

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Developmental Disorders

Little or no interest in playing with other kids. Additionally, autistic tots and preschoolers are often preoccupied with one narrow interest or movement and they may launch into a rage to a touch or minor change in their surroundings. New research on autistic kids shows subtle brain abnormalities in infants and toddlers their head circumference varies from most kids, starting too small and growing in spurts, parts of their brain have too many neural connections, and their brains show signs of chronic inflammation.

Holidays Coping with Change

Whether they are teenagers or toddlers, as I have already written, one common perception about autism is that autistic people do not like change. In some ways this is most definitely the case, although personally I don't think it is quite that simple - is anything to do with autism simple Ben has, for a long time, insisted on the same yellow cup, the same yellow spoon, the same bowl, the same bedtime routine.Mr Rigidity himself. If I am silly enough to do something more than once with him in the same way, then I have inadvertently imposed a routine on him (and the rest of us) never to be broken .until he decides otherwise. At four years old Ben, though non verbal, would insist that every ornament be in the same place yet didn't seem bothered one iota whether I had moved tables, chairs and sofas around. Now he has changed. The ornaments are commented on (with words now) but not worried about, yet any change of furniture would cause a spinning, flapping panic. For some reason known only...

Medical Conditions Can Increase the Behavior Problems in Your Young Child

Serious illnesses in a child can have a strong negative impact on a toddler or preschooler's behaviors. If you suspect that your child may have any of the conditions listed below, be certain to visit your child's health care provider as soon as possible. The following list covers many of the most common medical and health problems that can have a large impact on your kid's behaviors

Quantitative Assessments of Father Involvement in Intact Families

Although the relative difference in mother and father involvement is not markedly different across development, the absolute level of father involvement decreases as the child develops and the types of activities in which fathers and children interact also vary across development. In the survey by Yeung et al. (2001), for example, in the case of infants and toddlers (ages 0-2 years) fathers interact directly or are accessible to their children for approximately 3 hr day. By the time the children are 9 to 12 years of age the level of involvement has decreased to 2V4 hr. Activities vary across age as well. Time in personal care with fathers (either interaction or accessibility) drops from 1 hr day for infants to 1 2 hr for 9- to 12-year-old children. Play or companionship activities with fathers are more common among infants and toddlers (44 min day) than at later ages (23 min for 9- to 12-year-old children). While indoor games and toy play as well as outdoor activities and sports...

ERP Studies of Rearing in Atypical Environments

In a subsequent study, Cicchetti and Curtis (2005) conducted an investigation of maltreated toddlers' ERP responses to emotion stimuli. These investigators focused on neurofunctional processes in toddlerhood because it is a period when critical aspects of synaptogenesis, driven in large part by experience in the environment as well as continued my-elination, are occurring (Cicchetti & Curtis, 2006 Huttenlocher, 2002 Thompson & Nelson, 2001). Moreover, development of higher cognitive functions primarily mediated by the prefrontal cortex, such as speech production and language, as well as advances in self-development and representational symbolic processes, are taking place during the toddlerhood period (e.g., Cicchetti, 1990b Thompson & Nelson, 2001). As expected, the maltreated and nonmaltreated toddlers did not show latency or amplitude differences on the early perceptual negative component (N150). However, the maltreated toddlers displayed greater P260 amplitude at frontal leads...

Nail Biting Thumb Sucking and Extensive Use of a Pacifier

All babies suck their thumb or fingers. The habit is routine for infants and toddlers. Many preschoolers suck their thumbs or fingers (though by the age of four only one in six preschoolers does). There are few if any reasons to be concerned about this. Most dentists reassure their parents that there is no negative effect of thumb or finger sucking on your child's dental health until permanent teeth come in at age six or seven. Think of thumb or finger sucking as an excellent way your child has discovered to relieve his own stress a way for him to help him cope with his tensions. Whether or not this normal habit continues into toddler and preschool years is dependent to a large degree on the reaction

Accept Your Childs Emerging Independence

There's a metaphor I use to help people envision their parenting role and the amount of connection they have with their child. When your child is born, she begins life still connected to her mother through an umbilical cord. For the next few months, you have ultimate control over her every activity and she has no freedoms in her life. The umbilical cord connection between you is still short. In her toddler and preschooler years, the umbilical cord begins to lengthen. During her childhood, the umbilical cord gets even longer. Throughout her childhood years, you as the parent adjust the cord length you tighten it when she needs to be closer to you or when she doesn't show you the goods and you need to constrain her freedom and you loosen it when her behaviors demonstrate respect, ability, good judgment, and self-control. As she grows older and matures, you lengthen the cord significantly

Babies Under Months

TODDLERS Give food only at proper feed and snack times. Avoid offering food treats when she's hurt or grumpy, such as when she kicks up a fuss in the supermarket. Instead of quietenin her with a biscuit or sweet juice drink, give her a small toy or a big cuddle to distract her. With children of any age, it's important to get them moving. Confining a baby to a sling or an older toddler to a buggy for a lot of the time won't burn off calories and develop muscles. So get active

How Soon Can I Start to Discipline

You can begin to discipline with words not long after this. A healthy toddler understands most verbal disciplinary instructions by 18 months and has a fully functioning memory by age two. Her verbal achievements may limit her ability to respond, but if you expect understanding from your child and speak to her in a manner that inspires respect, this interaction will promote healthy growth throughout her childhood. As your child becomes a toddler, you have an obligation to teach her about the realities of the world regardless of whether she wants to learn these things. Safety is a top concern. You can never allow your young child to decide any issues that threaten her safety. She needs to learn that when her good boss declares something is unsafe, she must obey. If an activity runs a risk of seriously injuring or harming her, you must let her know through firm holding, firm words, firm redirection, and firm expressions that under no circumstances will you allow her to come into harm's...

Handle Your Kids the Way the World Will

Toddlers and preschoolers must learn that there are obligations in love that love is given but also earned. Teach your child that sometimes he has a chance to undo a mistake and solve a problem by making amends. In some situations when your toddler or preschooler has erred and not shown you the goods, you may want to allow him to earn a special goodie he can receive after he has finished living out his consequence. If you choose this path, let him help you problem solve on how he can earn a special freedom or favor from you. For example, you might say to your child, Honey, when you didn't show me the goods by having a tantrum, it drained a lot of energy out of me, even though you lost your goodies. What ideas do you have to fill my energy level back up If you can figure out how to fill Mommy's energy level, then maybe Mommy will feel good enough to let your friend have a play date with you this afternoon. This is real world stuff. Adults are sometimes able to fix problems in their...

Real Moms Resource Guide

College of the Overwhelmed The Campus Mental Health Crisis and What to Do About It, by Richard D. Kadison and Theresa Foy Di-Geronimo (San Francisco Jossey-Bass, 2004). Sure, your kids may still be toddlers, but every parent should be aware of this book, and the sooner you read it the better. Written by the chief of the Mental Health Service at Harvard University Health Services, the book warns us of a mental health crisis in college students today. With the rising numbers of stressed-out, depressed, suicidal students who cannot cope with failure (that is, their first B grade), parents need to understand the crisis now to better prepare their kids for life later.

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Allow Your Kids to Experience and Handle Frustration

Getting too much for too little teaches a child values that will handicap her in the real world. To succeed as an adult, our toddlers and preschoolers must understand that if they want something badly enough, they must be willing to work hard for it. Parents must insist that their children see their obligations (their chores, their committed interests) through to the end. For example, imagine that your preschooler has begged you for a pet and you are amenable to this idea. You should discuss fully before obtaining the pet what you view her role to be in the pet's maintenance (while keeping in mind realistic age appropriate expecta Parents show an enormous love for their child when they allow him to make a mistake and experience real life consequences. Oftentimes the most loving thing you can do is to stand quietly by and let your toddler or preschooler discover natural consequences on his own. Kids allowed to make their own mistakes (that subsequently cause them some level of...

Nurture and Maintain a Healthy Relationship between the Parents

From their early toddler years, children need to learn that their parents have a private life together that does not include them. If both parents are together in the family, the bond and relationship between these two parents is the model through which your children will view the world. If the bond is sacred and respectful the majority of the time, the kids will feel safe and good about themselves. Conversely, if there is a great deal of tension and disrespect in the home or between two separated parents, the kids will feel unsafe, will learn to dislike themselves, and will likely act out their stress through difficult behaviors. (A healthy relationship between the two parents is also critical even if they are no longer together. I will cover how to parent in divorce situations in Chapters 9 and 10).

Parenting in the Face of Bitter Parental Fighting Separation or Divorce

Every year more than a million new children in the nation experience a divorce between their parents. Although many of these children will adapt well, about a quarter of them will develop mental health or adjustment problems (including academic, social, and behavior problems). This is about twice the rate of children from intact families. Bitter parental fighting, domestic violence, separations, and divorces cause serious life stresses with enormous impact on toddlers and preschoolers. Emotional and physical abuse between spouses does incalculable harm to children. Kids exposed to this are sure to show more extreme behaviors.

Physical Development

Girls in their Adventurous Years are dependent on their bodies. Those bodies are helping them learn to kick a soccer ball, turn a cartwheel, and pedal a bike. They are spurring on their adventurousness. Within and without, your daughter's body is going through a period of slow, consistent growth during these years. Her squishy, chubby, adorable toddler body is making the gradual, long shift to the awkwardness of early adolescence. This affects her motor development, her memory, her emotions, and her femininity. Toddlers throw temper tantrums quite regularly. When a three-year-old can't wrestle the toy she wants away from her brother, she has a fit. In some ways, this is out of her control. Her brain is not yet developed in a way that enables her to regulate her emotions.

About the Authors in Volume

CAROLYN POPE EDWARDS is Professor of Psychology and Family and Consumer Sciences at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln. She earned her doctorate in human development and bachelor's degree from Harvard University. She has been an invited Senior Fellow at the Norwegian Centre for Advanced Study in Oslo and Visiting Professor of psychology at the National Research Council in Rome and has held faculty positions at the University of Kentucky, University of Massachusetts-Amherst, and Vassar College. Edwards' interests center on social and moral development in cultural context and socialization processes within the family and childcare and educational settings. Her books include Promoting Social and Moral Development of Young Children Creative Ideas for the Classroom and Children of Different Worlds The Formation ofSocial Behavior, along with the edited works, Bambini The Italian Approach to Infant-Toddler Care and The Hundred MARY K. ROTHBART is a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at...

Qualitative Effects Stylistic Differences in Mother and Father Interaction

Nor are these effects evident only during a child's infancy. MacDonald and Parke (1984), in an observational study of the play interaction patterns between mothers and fathers and 3- and 4-year-old toddlers, found that fathers engaged in more physical play with their children than mothers did, whereas mothers engaged in more object-mediated play than fathers did. According to MacDonald and Parke (1986), the fathers' distinctive role as a physical play partner changes with age, however. Physical play was highest between fathers and 2-year-old toddlers when the children were between 2 and 10 years of age there was a decreased likelihood that fathers would engage their children physically.

With a Disorganized Attachment

Infants, toddlers, and preschoolers with a disorganized attachment perceive their primary caregivers as terribly frightening, abusive, or unavailable. They often become incoherently angry and controlling in their relationships with others. Though deep down they long for affection, they outwardly act removed, distant, distrustful and may become intensely anxious, depressed, or hostile if they are pushed into relating with someone else who shows kindness, warmth or tries close physical contact. These children are often superficially engaging and charming, lack impulse control, are destructive, exploitative, manipulative and chronically angry, are not affectionate on their parents' terms, cannot tolerate external limits or control, trust no one, and often lack remorse and empathy. They are often diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Teach about the Joy in Being Part of a Larger Community

How you introduce your toddler or preschooler to the world is important. Children who are taught that there is trouble lurking around every corner or that that anyone who is not just like them is evil or a lesser human are being handicapped in terrible ways. Think about the messages you pass on to your children. The majority of Americans are kind, generous, interesting folks of all sizes, ages, colors, and ethnicities. Yet if you watch the news with your child and stress over the terrible state of the world without counterbalancing this with a message of love and tolerance toward others, you give your child a strong message that the world is a fearful place. This is a horrendous burden to place upon his shoulders.

Parenting Principle Prepare Them for the Real World

An important note to teach your toddler or preschooler properly about the real world, you must remind yourself about the way she thinks. Toddlers remain focused primarily on their present reality and have only a vague concept of past, present, or future. They tend to view things as either painful or pleasurable and they tend to view their own abilities as either they can or can't. A preschooler's thinking is rigid. She views ideas, rules, and concepts as either black or white with little to no gray areas. Additionally, toddlers and preschoolers have a lot of trouble seeing the world from another person's point of view. Until about the age of six or seven, children have a limited (though developing) ability to think abstractly. For example, imagine a typical preschooler seated at a table opposite another person. Imagine that upon this table sits two different toys separated by an opaque piece of cardboard. A toy car is visible only to the seated child and a doll is visible only to the...

Nightmares and Night Terrors

Nightmares are scary dreams that may awaken your child at night. When toddlers or preschoolers have a nightmare they frequently cry or scream or run to their parents' bed. Toddlers frequently have nightmares about issues around separation from their parents, and preschoolers frequently have nightmares about monsters or the dark. If your child has an occasional nightmare, hug her, reassure her, and perhaps sit on her bed until she is calm. You can offer her things like nightlights or magic objects beside her bed to help. Do not spend a lot of time and energy hunting down the monster in her room because this tends to suggest to the child that something was really there. Most children return to sleep quite quickly after receiving reassurance from their safe harbor.

Struggling about Chores

Begin doing housework together when your child is a young toddler. Do things like washing dishes, pulling weeds, sweeping, dusting, etc., while explaining that these are chores that big people have to do as a part of living in the family. Don't mislead him by saying how much fun it is to do these chores. Instead, explain that it is part of the responsibility of being in the family. Focus your attention on the effort your child places on helping you, not the quality of his accomplishments. For example, Wow, look how hard you are trying to sweep the garage that really helps Daddy.

Kids and Problem Behaviors

Raising toddlers and preschoolers is filled with ever-changing problem behaviors that you can expect to experience. Trust me when I say that whatever you're going through, you are not alone. And this is a good thing. Because you can benefit from my experience and the experience of all of the people I've worked with over the years. Do any of these situations sound familiar

Irritability and Crankiness

A fussy or irritable toddler or preschooler can place a severe stress on your emotional well-being, especially if you place great pride in your parenting skills. First, have your child evaluated for physical causes of any chronic or constant irritability. Remember that childhood depression can present in toddlers and preschoolers this way. Ask your healthcare provider to make sure he doesn't have signs of depression, side effects to medications he is taking, chronic disease (allergies, ear infections, gastrointestinal problems), or developmental delays. Sometimes irritable or cranky kids serve as beacons of high family stress. Chronically cranky or irritable toddlers and preschoolers can set up a negative attachment cycle with their parents. This cycle looks like this the child displays difficult behaviors that are difficult to be around the parent reacts with a strong negative emotion that creates an intense but unsatisfying connection . . . subsequently both child and parent...

The Importance of the Nurture of a Child

Research has concluded that the following socioeconomic factors (nurture factors) can contribute significantly to a child's tendency to act out poverty, parental illness or joblessness, hunger and nutritional deficiencies, homelessness, parental drug abuse, and domestic violence or instability. The incidence of behavioral disturbance in toddlers and preschoolers drops substantially when families find support to ameliorate the above socioeconomic stressors through assistance programs related to health care, food pantries, drug rehabilitation centers, and quality day care preschool settings.

Workshops for Middle School

A, B, Cs of Community Service with Infants Toddlers In this two-week workshop, participants intern in local daycare centers, spending four hours daily working with infants and children up to age five and their caregivers. They develop activities and assist with a variety of classroom functions. They explore interactions, situations encountered, and learning about early childhood development.

Typical Behaviors Seen with an Anxious Attachment

Anxiously attached infants, toddlers, and preschoolers have not experienced consistent availability of and comfort from their caregivers when their environment has proven threatening. Their requests for attention are often met with rebuff, indifference, or with inconsistent comfort. They become anxious about the availability of their caregiver, fearing that the caregiver will be unresponsive or ineffectively responsive when needed. They often show anger toward their caregiver for their lack of responsiveness and perhaps as a way to punish their caregiver in the hope that their caregiver will become more consistently available. Anxiously attached infants, toddlers, and preschoolers do not feel free to explore their environment without worry, so they cannot achieve the same mastery and confidence in themselves as securely attached children.

Hitting Bitingand Scratching

Hitting, biting, and scratching others is a tool toddlers use to try to get what they want. The hitting biting scratching stage often occurs when your child is two or three years old. Although this section focuses on biting as an example, the advice applies to any form of physical violence from your child. The biting toddler feels out of control with his anger because he is not getting what he wants. She doesn't necessarily want to hurt anyone, but she doesn't know what to do with her pent-up anger and frustration. Biting makes her feel temporarily better and insures that she'll get a reaction.

Why Do Kids Have These Problem Behaviors

Young toddlers have a developmental need to say NO, and this can be tough on parents. Much of your child's original self-discovery has been exciting for you to watch ( I want to watch this. I want to go here. I want to wear this. I want to eat this. I want you mommy. ). What a pleasure it is for a parent to watch their sweet little baby exert his wishes while expressing a pure joy in living The problem is (and parents often forget this part), that the natural flip side of wanting something is not wanting something ( I don't want this. I don't want to go there. I won't wear it. I won't eat that. GO AWAY ). Being capable of saying NO is really about saying I am. This first exertion of control can make a toddler drunk with the power of it all. Imagine the feeling of evolving from having had all the decisions made for you to being able to turn your household on its ear and Mommy and Daddy red with one little word. From your toddler's perspective, it almost seems like saying NO is all it...

Regression Acting Like a Baby

Two- to three-year-olds are the most prone to wanting to relive aspects of their babyhood. When tired they may want to be carried or fed as they were when they were a baby. Young toddlers and preschoolers will also regress when their family life undergoes a significant rise in its stress level. Sometimes a previously potty trained toddler will refuse to use the potty chair, or a child who has previously slept uneventfully through the night will begin night awakenings. This is known as regression. Regression happens as a form of adaptation in response to a child's feeling stressed, unsafe or less secure, and more threatened than previously. It is a defense mechanism and, without it, a child might become totally overwhelmed by the anxiety and could become nearly paralyzed in dealing with his life. Regression makes the stress more manageable and less threatening. sion without anxiety and are better prepared to allow their children to work out their needs in their own way. When we permit...

Toilet Training Woes and Bedwetting

Night wetting is a problem that is incredibly common in toddlers and preschoolers. Preventing any emotional problems related to bedwetting should be your highest priority. Keep your child in night diapers until she has had at least a couple of weeks awakening to a dry diaper. This accomplishes two things 1) it avoids the inevitable unpleasant reaction from the parent who comes upon a wet bed and envisions extra work in washing and remaking the bed and 2) it normalizes the reality that children cannot control their bladder functions any more than you can control how often you toss and turn while you are asleep.

Picky Eating or Refusing to

It's amazing to me that so many toddler and preschooler households are in conflict over the act of eating. In some families, this relatively simple aspect of life becomes so enmeshed in trauma that it takes on a huge level of importance in the development of the child's personality. Make sure you have your priorities straight the most important aspect of mealtime for children this age is the time you spend together as a family. If you spend this time talking as a family (keeping the conversation at a level that everyone can understand and participate in) and keep the television off you will accomplish what you need to accomplish at mealtime. Nutritional needs are decidedly secondary at this stage in your child's life. Another false notion is that a child aged two or three needs to eat as much as an infant or young toddler. Children this age normally require significantly less, something that will change dramatically when he reaches age seven. Because your child requires less food, he...

Step Find Ways to Serve Others as a Family

Find an age-appropriate Pitch Right In Project to teach your child a more helpful attitude. Be sure it is an activity where the emphasis is on his contribution to someone or something else rather than any kind of a personal gain.Whenever possible, capitalize on your kid's individual skills and interests. For example, if your younger child loves to draw, she might make cards to bring to a nursing home for the elderly to enjoy or send to their loved ones. Or if your toddler loves flowers and the out-of-doors, set her loose in the park with a large garbage bag and a pair of latex gloves and have her pick up trash. For an older kid, there are many possible projects that emphasize helpfulness, including collecting clothing and blankets from neighbors to distribute to the homeless collecting or repairing toys to donate to local charities helping coach younger kids in a favorite sport, dancing, or gymnastics or tutoring kids in a subject of special interest or achievement like math,...

Bullying and Aggression

Some degree of aggression is natural in toddlers and preschoolers as they develop a sense of themselves, learn how to handle their budding emotions, and learn that their identification with action figures does not allow them to copy these same aggressive actions within society. Some toddlers and preschoolers have a biological tendency to be more aggressive than others. Biologically aggres

The Classic Nature versus Nurture Debate

Gwen's parents are convinced that her problem behaviors are because she looks and acts just like her aunt. Tom's parents wonder if his temper tantrums are because his mom was depressed during the first few years of his life. You may wonder if your toddler or preschooler's difficult behaviors are worse because the problem runs in the family or because something bad happened to him when he was young. What plays a more important role in how your child turns out, the gene or the scene This is the classic nature versus nurture debate. When we think of a child's nature, we think of his biological, genetic, and cellular makeup. His nurture is his parenting and home and social environment. Which has the greater impact

Typical Behaviors Seen with a Secure Attachment

Securely attached infants, toddlers, and preschoolers still show fear, sadness, anger, or anxiety at times these are normal human reactions. But these young children are able to rely on their caregivers for comfort and protection if necessary. Securely attached infants, toddlers, and preschoolers feel comforted by their primary caregivers when they feel threatened. They are able to explore their world because they have confidence that their caregiver will help them if they have trouble. Because they are confident in the sensitive and responsive availability of their caregivers they are confident in themselves.

Parenting Principle Be a Good Boss

What do you think of when you think of someone who is a good boss That she lets you know what is expected of you and what her rules are That she makes decisions and exerts authority in a responsible and caring manner That she praises you for a job well done and offers constructive criticism when necessary That she is fair and consistent That she gives you the opportunity for promotions and better compensation for good work It is essential that parents of toddlers and preschoolers be good bosses to their children.

Your familys needs Location

If you have more than one child, it may affect your choice of care. Some parents wish to have their children in the same child care arrangement because it's more convenient and it gives their children a chance to spend more time together. A parent of a toddler, for instance, might look for family child care near an older child's school, where both children can be together in the late afternoon.

Attention Deficit and Disruptive Behavioral Disorders

Ents as having shown many of the following symptoms during toddler and preschool years low frustration tolerance, frequent temper outbursts, bossiness, stubbornness, excessive and persistent insistence that their demands be met, serious mood swings, and extreme sensitivity to rejection from playmates.

JasonA Typical Child with a Secure Attachment

Jason's mother spent a lot of time with him during his infancy and first few years and was highly attuned to his personality. Though Jason as an infant was quite fussy, his mom rocked and held him close to her and was soothingly quiet during his fussy times until he settled down in exhausted slumber. She discovered unique and specific ways to hold him, feed him, carry him, and put him to sleep that seemed to keep him calmer. As a toddler his behavior while shopping often became extremely difficult. During his tantrums, his mom carried him outside to the car and calmly waited until his fits subsided. After the tantrum she would explain why he couldn't have what he demanded. She usually talked directly into his eyes while holding him on her lap or gently holding his hands. If he began to wail again she would patiently wait until he quieted down before talking to him about the behaviors she expected of him while in the store. Soon she found she could Jason believed to his core that his...

Typical Behaviors Seen with an Avoidant Attachment

Avoidant attached infants, toddlers, and preschoolers perceive their primary caregivers as completely insensitive to them and dislike or want to avoid contact with them. These young children avoid, downplay, or deny their needs for comfort and protection they are often described by others as a loner or very self-reliant even at a young age. In the presence of their primary care-giver, they commonly display one or more of the signs and symptoms of grief normally experienced by infants, toddlers, and preschoolers who face a total loss and absence of their mothers (protest, anger, despair, and detachment).

Life after bir

In extreme weather conditions, we pad Jack's cabin with duvets or cushions. We've both done first-aid courses and are armed with several parenting books, such as The Great Portland Street Baby and Childcare Book, What to Expect in the First Year, the Haynes Manual for Baby through to Two Years, and Annabel Karmel's New Complete Baby and Toddler Meal Planner.

Early Awakening

Most children age two to three need a minimum of 12 to 13 hours of sleep a night. Preschoolers need a minimum of 10 to 12 hours of sleep a night. Toddlers and preschoolers who sleep less than 10 to 11 hours in a 24-hour period frequently have more oppositional, hyperactive and aggressive behaviors. Therefore making sure your child sleeps enough is critical. Some toddlers and preschoolers awaken between 5 00 and 6 00 and are fully awake and ready to go before their parents are ready to arise. They call from their crib, bed, or bedroom and are ready to rev up for the day they are your typical morning people. Most of these children have received plenty of sleep and are no longer tired. If this applies to your child and he is sleeping more than his required number of hours, you may want to evaluate how to decrease the amount of sleep your child obtains during the day (naps) or change the time you are putting him to bed. If this doesn't work, explain to your child that unless there is a...

World Of No

Thirteen-month-old Avery Watson says no to everything, even when she clearly doesn't mean it. I was trying to give her Goldfish and she shook her head 'no' while putting one in her mouth, says her mom, Rachael, of Portland, OR. I can't figure out the disconnect Toddlers often send this mixed message. It's a way to hone their social skills and stand up for themselves, says Harvey Karp, M.D., creator of The Happiest Toddler on the Block. How to navigate in the meantime READ THEIR BODY LANGUAGE Toddlers are better at right-brained body language than left-brained verbal language, says Dr. Karp. So be I i eve what they d o, n ot what they say. they're acting 'yes,' ignore the 'no.' t they 're rea 11 y p utt i ng up a fight,'no' means'no,' the reason toddlers nix random things is they get frustrated with all they can't do. They're weaker, they're slower, they can't reachas high all they want to do is win a few, says Dr. Karp. Indulge them occasionally it'liencouragecooperation. PERFECT POUR...

By Laura Sullivan

Should I choose a farm or a ranch Six is the magic age at which kids are allowed to saddle up on a horse independently at most dude ranches (they're physically strong enough then and covered by the ranch's Insurance company), so think about farm visits when they're younger. However, there are always exceptions. Gregg and Laura Ross of Austin, TX, have been going to ranches since their 5-year-old was a toddler. I think my daughter would rebel if we told her we were going somewhere else, says Gregg. I remember the trips by what new thing she was able to do each year, from pony rides to bucket roping lasso practice for little kids who can't lasso livestock and, soon, horse rides on her own.

Volunteer camp

Age requirement Camp Lend-a-Hand at Riverview (grades 5-10) Costa Rica (ages 13-18) Hawaii (ages 13-18) Spanish Service (grades 9-12) ASL (American Sign Language), Helping Hands, Clean Up , A, B, C's of Community Service with Infants Toddlers (grades 5-8) Little Hands, Big Hearts (grades 2-5).

The right weight

They also cry when they're too cold, hot, fussed over, lonely, sleepy And it can be hard to tell which one is which. Crying for food isn't limited to newborns, either. Toddlers will cry for a biscuit or a drink when really they're hurt, insecure, tired, unhappy or just bored. So how do you know when you've given them the right amount for them to thrive

Day Care Stresses

A recent government study found that by the age of three, more than two-thirds of toddlers and preschoolers have spent a sub stantial amount of time in the care of someone other than their parents. Many children begin their experience in day care at the age of three months. The average number of hours of day care for toddlers and preschoolers is about 33 hours a week.

Individual Factors

Not only are attitudes important but personality is an important correlate of father involvement as well. Jain et al. (1996) found that in their study of fathers and their male toddlers, progressive fathers (caregivers, playmates and teachers) were less anxious, hostile and irritable than traditional fathers (disengaged or disciplinarian fathers).

Learning Disorders

Preschoolers with learning disorders sometimes have an inability to understand the information that is presented to them by their preschool teachers. They may suffer from their visual, language, attention, or memory deficits. Sometimes these deficits are a result of their medical conditions such as lead poisoning, exposure to alcohol as a fetus, or a genetic condition called Fragile X Syndrome. While toddlers and preschoolers rarely receive the formal diagnosis of learning disorder (because they have not entered formal schooling), preschooler teachers can observe early signs of impending reading, mathematical, or writing difficulties. Children with signs of early learning disorders often feel badly about themselves as they compare themselves to the achievements of other preschoolers and respond to this by acting out.

Breath Holding

Infants, toddlers, and young children learn what helps them control their environment through a method of trial and error. Those behaviors they find that work in controlling their powerful parents are kept. Those behaviors that do not are abandoned. Sometimes a child stumbles onto breath holding as a way to obtain an incredible amount of attention from her parents. The reaction of her parents will determine the degree to which she will continue using this technique. If during and after this attempt for full attention, her parents seem nonchalant or uninterested, then very quickly she will set out to find another behavior that works more

Anger and Defiance

Mary care provider and the child (as discussed in Principle 1). Under these circumstances, almost every part of a child's identity, self-worth, and emotional base emanates from anger. In such a state, toddlers and preschoolers may redirect their anger into aggression toward other targets, such as peers or siblings. Perpetually angry young children are often a signal to a family that the family as a whole is holding a lot of anger. Parents who think of their child as always bad or always angry should look at their family situation. By looking within yourself and your spouse, you may find ways to make necessary adjustments. We will cover this in much more detail in Chapter 10.


About one in six normal toddlers and preschoolers sleepwalk. You know your child walks in her sleep if she walks while her eyes are open but blank, she is not well-coordinated in her semipurpose-ful acts (dressing, undressing, opening and closing doors, turning on and off lights, etc.), and is not easily awakened. Sleepwalking is more common in older preschoolers, begins one or two hours after going to sleep, and lasts 5 to 20 minutes. Gently lead your child back to her bed. Fatigue and exhaustion tend to increase the likelihood of sleepwalking. If you need to awaken your child in the morning, this indicates that she needs more sleep put her to bed earlier in the evening.


Sometimes your toddler or preschooler seems to dissolve into a form of insanity, a seemingly uncontrollable sobbing and terrifying loss of civilized behavior. During such times, no matter what a parent may say to try and stop it, absolutely nothing works. These meltdowns frequently occur at extremely inopportune moments (waiting in a line at the supermarket or airport, when you are at a holiday family gathering, etc.). This difficult behavior often occurs as a result of your child's profound sensory overload

Temper Tantrums

Screaming in the middle of a store, throwing things, pulling clothes out of a drawer, making loud demands for things you don't want them to have, and then having a total fit when they don't get their way is the kind of behavior in toddlers and preschoolers that can frustrate even the calmest of parents. It is also inevitable. Parents should see tantrums as a way their child releases the excess pent-up energy that emerges as he struggles to become an autonomous human being. Young children use emotional outbursts as a way to discover the boundaries on their behavior. If your child is four and has never had a tantrum, you are probably not teaching him about the realities of life and that normal people have to face situations that frustrate them to the point of rage. The average child aged 18 months to two years has three such outbursts per day. This lessens over time and by age five, boys experience an


Toddlers and preschoolers use you as a secure base from which they can explore their world. At a point of separation, if a child does not feel he can trust that his attachment figure will return as promised, he might resort to clinging in an effort to prevent the separation he fears. A toddler clings for two main reasons (1) he temporarily lacks confidence in his ability to face the world without being by your side or (2) he believes doing so will snag him more consistent or better quality care from you. If your toddler is clinging to you, it is critically important that you not refuse or reject this if at all possible. Your behaviors toward your child should be filled with actions that promote attachment (gentle facial expressions, direct eye contact, a reassuring calm voice, gentle touch, hugs and stroking, etc.).

Your Step Plan

Remember, toddlers are learning new skills and becoming independent. Do you remember your first plate of spaghetti It must have been messy 2 Relax and stop rushing. If you're stressed, your toddler will be, too. Switch off the TV and switch on the answering machine. 4 Don't force him to eat. 'No' is a word toddlers love, as it always gets your attention. Ignore bad behaviour and praise him for eating well. 6 Show your toddler that you value mealtimes. Don't load the washing machine or empty the dishwasher - sit down and eat with him. 7 Make the time before eating a 'TV-free' zone. Get your toddler to help with the meal instead.


It's fluoride-f ree and safe if swallowed Getting your child on track with Thomas & Friend 5 a great way for parents to care for their toddler's teeth. Orajel Toddler Training Toothpaste is a gentle, nonabrasive toothpaste made just for toddlers and contains Microdent a special ingredient that cleans toddlers' teeth and gums without foaming. Your kids will love the fun flavors, and you'll like knowing it's fluoride-free, so it's safe for toddler if swallowed. Orajel and Thomas & friends make brushing fun For toddlers up to four years of age.

Lying and Stealing

The ability to tell the truth or to lie requires an intact moral judgment. This is a complex concept for toddlers and preschoolers. A two-year-old does not yet have a conscience. Developing a conscience requires that parents teach the moral standards of behavior acceptable in the real world. Toddlers and preschoolers have no natural tendencies to do the right thing. Parents provide the incentives for this behavior with their approval or disapproval. Having a true conscience means that personality monitors come from within without the need of an outside policeman. This internal voice that prohibits behaviors and experiences guilt reactions does not emerge until the fifth or sixth year. In normal healthy children, the conscience does not become a dependable part of a child's personality until he is nine or ten years old (and does not become completely independent of outside authority until late adolescence or early adulthood). In light of this, establishing a pattern of socially...

Childadult ratio

This ratio is important because it has a direct impact on how much individual attention your child receives and how well her needs are met. Most experts feel that one family child care provider should care for no more than six children (a ratio of 6 1), and no more than two of those children should be under the age of 15 months. In centers, the recommended child staff ratio for infants under the age of 15 months is 3 1 and should not be more than 4 1 the recommended ratio for toddlers is 4 1 and should not be more than 5 1 the recommended ratio for two-year-olds is 5 1 and should not be more than 6 1 and the recommended ratio for preschoolers is 8 1 and should not be more than 10 1. The suggested child adult ratio for most school-age children programs is 13 1 or smaller.

Group size

Generally, children do better in small groups. So no matter how many adults are on hand, the total number of children who are grouped together for care is important. Experts recommend that groups of infants should not have more than 8 children. Groups of toddlers should not have more than 10. And groups of two-year-olds should not have more than 12. For 3-to-5-year-olds, groups of 12 to 18 children are recommended the quality of care goes up as the group gets smaller quality begins to deteriorate when preschool groups have 20 children or more.

Age and group size

School-age programs are generally available for children ages 5 through 13 or so. When you're considering any program, be sure to ask what activities they offer and find out what ages they really serve. (Some programs may advertise that they take children up to age 12, for instance, but their activities may only appeal to younger children.) Although school-age children need less supervision than infants and toddlers, be sure to ask about the adult child ratio and group size. While a ratio of one adult for every 10 or 12 children can be used as a general guideline for many school-age programs, different activities may require different supervision (a field trip or a swimming program, for instance, might need more adults). In general, no matter how many children or adults are in a program, it's important that there be enough flexibility so children can work and play in small groups, not just in large ones.

Negative Central

There are no published reports concerning the developmental course of the N400. Nelson and Monk (2001) have speculated that the Nc observed in infants and toddlers may evolve into the N400 by age 4 or 5 years, but this idea remains untested. However, the N400 is another ERP component that could potentially be utilized to index some aspect of memory functioning in children who have experienced maltreatment, particularly in the context of examining the developmental course of the Nc.

Discovery In Action

Children ages birth to five perform countless monumental tasks on a daily basis in this stage of their lives. Every day for a baby is a crash course in life as her brain forms new neural pathways. She sees and feels and hears and smells (and tastes, unfortunately) new objects with every passing hour. Babies and toddlers are learning about relationships, trust, hope, independence, attachment, and countless other concepts that we adults spend the rest of our lifetimes trying to understand. A girl in the birth-to-five-year-old stage is discovery in action. She is learning to crawl, to pull herself up, to walk, to speak.

Emergency Attitude

Name-calling.Tantrums. Biting. Sound familiar They are typical behaviors bad-tempered kids use to make their needs known and to get their way.Yes, they are signs of poor self-control, but they are also signs of selfish and rude attitudes. Need proof Just be in the company of a screaming, tirading toddler or explosive teenager, and in seconds you know this child sure isn't thinking about others. He is concerned only about getting his agenda met, and the antics he uses to achieve that aim are anything but civil. In fact, he's a leading candidate for membership in the Big Brat Factor All-Stars.

Fears and Anxieties

Fears in your child cannot be avoided. Nor should they be. Fears help prevent your children from being exposed to dangers they are not yet ready to handle. It is healthy for toddlers to be afraid of strangers, dogs, noisy environments, and separation from their primary care providers. They should not be told to kiss every stranger, pet every dog, or be scolded when they cry with a stranger's approach. Young children are often not able to express how upset they are about tensions in their homes or environments. The healthy toddler or preschooler who suddenly has profuse and varied fears, who increasingly dissolves into tears, who suddenly refuses to leave the house, or who is unable to achieve things he used to do easily may be frightened at the prospect (real or imagined) that the life she knows is ending. Speaking of these fears can be next to impossible for a young child. She will only be able to show you how scared she is through her behaviors.


Temperament sometimes heavily influences toddlers and preschoolers' difficult behaviors. If your child's frequent bouts of difficult and out-of-control behaviors are due in large part to his temperament, you will likely describe him in the following way high activity, low body function predictability, low adaptability, high intensity, negative moods, low persistence, high distractibil-ity, and high sensitivity. Clearly, the more this list matches your child's temperamental traits, potentially the more extreme your child's behaviors may be.

Night Waking

All toddlers and preschoolers are perfectly capable of learning how to put themselves back to sleep independently if they wake up in the middle of the night. If your young toddler is still in a crib and you hear her cry, briefly check on the child to be sure she is not ill or hurt. You can reassure your child by patting her gently, lovingly, and briefly on the head or back and saying something like, Honey, we all need to sleep when it is nighttime. I checked on you to make sure you were safe. Now I am leaving, and you must go back to sleep. Hug your 'snuggle' instead of me. It can help you get back to sleep. Do not stay in the room for more than 30 seconds. Typically, a child will scream after this for quite a while perhaps three or four hours the first night. The second night, it might be two or three hours. The periods will get increasingly shorter after this until she learns that she must go back to sleep herself. While it might be painful to hear your child cry this way, this...

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