Various other bully blockers

It is useful to collect a bunch of simple, generic replies of different styles: a variety of retorts that work for a variety of teases. Learn them so they can 'pop out' automatically when necessary.


' Outrageous', 'Wow', ' I hear what you say', 'Whoopee', ' Beg your pardon?', 'Really', 'Fancythat', 'Gee whiz', 'Define that for me', 'I didn't realise that', 'Sorry about that'.


Bully: You smell.'

Reply: 'My special smell has taken years to perfect.' Bully continues: But it's not perfect.'

Reply: I know, sometimes I don't get the mixture just right.'

Reply: I'm always like this in the morning.'

Bully continues: 'You're like that in the afternoon.'

Reply: 'You are so observant, have you considered a career in journal ism?'


Reply options: Bully:

Reply options:

'No, I'm just well-padded.' ' It's genetic.' ' I love to eat.' ' I'm a chocoholic.'

'No, I am cosmetically challenged.' ' I'm an ugly duckling today and one day I'll be a swan.'

'Wear some rose-coloured glasses and I'll look better.' 'I'm saving for a complete makeover.'

Bully: 'You are such a nerd/geek/wuss/dag.'

Reply options: 'No, I'm still in training.'

'I'll soon have my licence.' 'So I'm doing it properly?' 'Will I become rich and famous like Bill Gates?'

Bully: 'You're a dickhead.'

Reply options: 'Last week, I was a complete fool.'

'Is it better to be a dickhead or an arsehole?'

'When you call me a dickhead, which part of my head is the dick?'

'Two heads are better than one.' 'I'd love a photo.'

Bully: 'You're such a square.'

Reply options: 'I'm actually a circle in disguise.' 'Don't be jealous.'

Reply options: 'I know, it's genetic.'

'There are more successful short people in the world than tall ones. I've got a greater chance of being successful if I'm small.'

Reply options: 'Explain that, I'm just a kid.'

'Don't tell my girlfriend.'

'No, I was gay yesterday! Today I'm glad and tomorrow I'll feel good, and by the weekend I'll feel great.'

Bully: 'Your mother is a tart.'

Reply options: 'Is she a jam tart or a cheese tart?'

'I hope your mother enjoys her life as much as mine does.'


Reply options: 'According to psychologists, an idiot has a very low IQ, which means that I couldn't qualify for this class.' 'You said the same thing last week and the week before and I'm getting bored, it's about time you said something else.' 'No, it's Tuesday [or whatever day]. I'm only an idiot on Sundays.'

Bully: 'You're a loner.' 'Nobody likes you.' 'You've got no friends.'

Reply options: 'I know.'

Bully: 'You're a wog/Aborigine/Indian/Negro/Muslim.' etc.

Reply options: 'Gee you're observant.'

'Are you an ethnologist?'

'Do you mean my race, culture or nationality?'

Reply options: 'Thanks, I knew there was something missing from my diet.'

'That's right, I love peanut butter for breakfast and lunch.'

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