When you accept yourself just as you are, your self-esteem is healthy and it's easy to relate to others. You also respect your right to be safe. You insist on being protected by others or protecting yourself when others bully. Generally, children don't bother to bully secure, confident children. If your self-esteem is low, you feel bad about who you are and criticise yourself constantly. Your inner voice acts like a bully and makes you vulnerable. Bullies sense your secret. They look for your reaction, e.g. if you feel bad about your learning difficulties, the bully reads your feedback and bullies you about them. Or you may be blessed with wealthy parents and enjoy lovely holidays, and other children get jealous, e.g. 'So you've been to Disneyland.'. If you're extremely attractive, they might say, 'Hey ugly', and you may react with embarrassment. Remember, it's not your fault that you've been born lucky.
Bullying lowers your self-esteem, making it easier for others to hurt you or for you to react and retaliate. Then your self-esteem drops further if you are let down by others. If you bully, then your self-esteem will be good until your schoolwork deteriorates because you don't focus on your studies - and then you're forced to socialise with 'losers', because most kids want to socialise with kids who are achieving in later school years, not with dropouts.
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