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Law Of Attraction For Kids

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Although it is very painful dealing with bullying, you need to develop a sensible set of strategies to help your child. Your constructive approach will serve as an effective piece of role modelling for them to follow, and will help them develop resilience.

Hot tips

What's hot

What's not

Get the big picture

Don't automatically blame others

Be empathic

Don't overprotect your child

Maintain behaviour boundaries

Don't be inconsistent

Encourage resilience

Don't allow them to deny problems

Be positive and optimistic

Choose a variety of options

Don't remain angry and powerless

Persistence is the key

Don't rely solely on the school

Look for the smile

Don't try then give up easily

Don't do nothing

If your child is a bully

One mother was sick and tired of her son being a bully.

With the school's support,she supervised him everywhere - in class and in the yard at school. After a day he vowed never to bully again.

Although some parents believe it is acceptable to bully or stand up and fight, deep down most parents are ashamed that their child has to abuse his power to remain popular. Thus they deny and make excuses. But bullying boomerangs back on bullies - they suffer too. You don't want your child to have a bad life just because he bullies. He has a right to a normal life.

Find out why your child is bullying. Is he copying everyone else in his group, or is it due to other stressors? Assess your family role models and get help to change. Encourage your child to become nicer, more assertive and constructive so that he can enjoy positive relationships and run less risk of being sabotaged. Then review the action taken. If it worked, celebrate. If not, discuss other ways to stop his bullying behaviours.

Here are a few suggestions:

• Don't blame your child - everyone bosses and bullies at times.

• Find out what your child did and why. He may feel powerless, under pressure to conform, or maybe project his difficulties.

• Check if there is something else stressing him that requires your attention.

• Alter your role models, become consistent and respectful.

• Spend positive time with your children to build their self-esteem, and reward positive behaviours.

• Teach them how to show empathy and respect.

• Monitor their friendships, encourage them to avoid mates who bully.

• Structure their free time with lots of activities, e.g. chores, hobbies.

• Demonstrate the difference between aggressive, passive and assertive behaviours.

• Send them to a martial-arts course to control their aggression.

• Encourage their teacher to keep them busy and reward their efforts.

• Demonstrate that bullying is bad and an apology is necessary.

• Children require fair, firm rules. Describe the consequences if they bully, and implement them, e.g. remove television/ computer/computer games/mobile phone; ground them; have them do volunteer work, donate to charity, and research bullying.

• Collaborate with the school and obtain regular feedback to help them improve.

• If your child's friends are bullies, warn your child and report them a few weeks later to the school.

• Obtain professional help for you, your child and your family.

If your child is provoking the bully

Some children try to play with other children but are rejected because their social skills are poor and they don't blend in. Their frustration can lead to attention-seeking behaviours which irritate and provoke other kids to bully. Some become so angry and hurt once excluded or bullied that they retaliate, provoke and fight back to protect themselves from feeling powerless. But they always lose. Unfortunately, if the school witnesses these retaliatory behaviours, they label the child a bully! If you just defend your child, you are wasting time. Find out what happened. Then you can recommend suitable options which help him to be accepted socially and find a nice bunch of mates.

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