As you can't always rely on others, you need to give to yourself, not just once a week but every day. Then you can build up your self-esteem bank and feel good about yourself. There are many ways you can do this, but it can be as simple as playing with a toy, reading, listening to music or chatting to a friend.
Create your confidence-booster liSt
Find someone you trust. Ask him or her to help you discover what makes you feel confident, successful and powerful (e.g. doing well at sport, trying hard at schoolwork, cooking dinner for the family, riding your bike). Practise your confidence boosters as often as you can. If this isn't possible, then visualise yourself practising. Sometimes just thinking, dreaming and laughing about a confidence booster is enough for you to feel and act more positively. Write down your confidence-booster list.
Bossing your inner bully
Write down five bad (negative) things you do, say or think about yourself (e.g. I pick my nose, I write badly).
Write down five good (positive) things you do, think or say about your- self (e.g. I write neatly, I keep my room tidy).
Write down some of your recent successes, including anything you said or did that required: Courage (e.g. I walked past a mean-looking dog yesterday.)
Persistence (e.g. I learnt how to tie my shoelaces.)
Common sense (e.g. I told my mother about the bully.)
Good luck (e.g. The teacher happened to see the bully do it.)
Intuition (e.g. Mum loved the surprise cup of tea I made her.)
Problem solving (e.g. I worked out a tricky maths problem.)
Muscles (e.g. I opened the pickle jar when Grandma couldn't.)
A pep-talk gives you a boost. Sports coaches motivate their teams with hyped-up pep-talks. Create your own them on stickers. Put them everywhere - in your room, :.- so you don't forget the message, e.g.'I can do this','I'm yself'.
pep-talks and write diary, bathroom, et< not afraid', 'I like m
Decorate the mirror
Every time you pass a mirror,practise smiling, blow yourself a kiss, give yourself a hug, use your pep-talk and practise looking confident (even if you have to 'fake it till you make it'!).
Make a 'feelgood' list
Write down three things you can do any time to make yourself feel good and improve your self-esteem. You can smell,touch, hear,taste,feel or imagine them (e.g. have a bubble bath, play a musical instrument, read, play with a pet, play sport).
Now write down three things that make you feel good that you can take to school (e.g. little teddy, photo, special piece of inexpensive jewellery, gemstone, ball).
Visualise the future
Find a nice spot to be alone, then relax and chill out. Empty your mind of bad thoughts and make room for good ones. Imagine yourself or someone else blocking the bully. Then ask yourself these questions:
• How will you feel when the bully looks stunned or embarrassed?
• How will you feel if the bully leaves you alone or wants to be your friend?
• What will you enjoy doing when you're not scared?
• What will be the fun parts of your life, e.g. your social life, schoolwork, health, weekends, etc.?
• What will be the best part of having true friends?
Be a fun person
Children with poor self-esteem aren't good at having fun. Friendly kids like having fun. If you are not fun to be with,they may exclude you and you'll feel worse. You need to smile and laugh more so that children enjoy being with you and think you're cool. Besides, laughing is a great way to get rid of tension, release painful feelings and feel better. To get in the mood for fun, complete these sentences:
• 'These kids are going to help me become more entertaining:
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