Get rid of bad halts dont make the UHy happy

1. Don't be scared of pain

Children are often scared of life-saving injections,gym exercise to build their muscles,and confronting the dentist. Speaking about bullying is very painful.

Tell your child: You can feel embarrassed, shy or paralysed with fear. Many children say,'I don't want to talk about it'. They turn their head away or lower their eyes, expecting the subject to close. Unfortunately, if you don't talk about it,the bully knows that you are publicity-shy.The bullying will get worse and you will suffer more.

2. Don't be a belly-button watcher ('BBWfor short)

Some children are very anxious about how they appear to others. They become totally absorbed in their own thoughts and feelings. I call this

'belly-button watching'. They forget to show interest, care and empathy in their classmates.

Tell your child: Be aware that you create real problems when kids try to be friendly with you and you reject their invitations to play. They may retaliate by teasing or excluding you. Besides, if you want to know how to make friends or block bullies, you need to adjust your behaviour according to the feedback you receive from other children. You can't do this if you are belly-button watching.

Don't focus on yourself all the time; show interest and empathy in other children. Use their feedback to guide what you do next.

3. Don't show your fear or anger, or do nothing

I often ask children,'Why do bullies bully? What do they want kids to do?'

They say things like, 'They want you to get upset, cry or fight back.'

I summarise the essential feelings a bully looks for:'So a bully wants a kid to get angry, scared or do nothing?' Then I say, 'What do you do - say mean things back, run away, do nothing?'

They tell me what they do. I summarise and boomerang their words back, e.g., 'So you get angry and upset, which makes the bully happy?' Then I pause...and say, 'And why would you want to make the bully happy?'

Their eyes do an odd wobble; they look flabbergasted and reply,

'I don't know, I didn't realise.' This is the beginning of power!

Parents and kids activity

Tell your child: Your anger and fear make you an easy target;you give the bully power to continue. He doesn't need another target, unless you change or leave. Don't show your pain for the bully's gain.

Parents and kids activity

Confident Kids

Confident Kids

Although nobody gets a parenting manual or bible in the delivery room, it is our duty as parents to try to make our kids as well rounded, happy and confident as possible. It is a lot easier to bring up great kids than it is to try and fix problems caused by bad parenting, when our kids have become adults. Our children are all individuals - they are not our property but people in their own right.

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