Isbn 978-1-84642-632-2

Six Secrets to h Deal with Teasi

Revised Editio

Evelyn M. F

lelp Children ng and Bullying

'Bully Blocking contains many imaginative suggestions for parents and children on how to cope with the problem of being victimised by their peers at school.'

Ken Rigby, Adjunct Professor, University of South Australia, author of Bullying in Schools and What to Do About It

'Evelyn Field's thoughtful and beautifully written book is both timely and needed, providing young people and their carers with a variety of skills, knowledge and strategies to counter the problem of bullying and teasing. The illustrations and activity pages ensure the user-friendliness of the book for young people. Bully Blocking is a "must read" for parents who want to give their children the gift of a range of social and emotional competencies to help them traverse the sometimes rocky terrain of the schoolyard and beyond.'

Associate Professor Michael Carr-Gregg, PhD MAPS, author of Surviving Year 12 and co-author of Adolescence

'Evelyn Field has drawn on her vast clinical experience over many years of working with children, their families and teachers to write a superb book about all aspects of bullying. Beginning with descriptions ofdifferent types ofbullying, Field goes on to list the manifestations and consequences of bullying, and devotes the rest of the book to information and practical exercises as to what parents, teachers (and children, too) can do. It is written in a style that is interesting, very practical and easy to read. Bully Blocking is an invaluable resource for children, parents, teachers and all professionals working with children who are aware of the often devastating consequences of bullying that is allowed to go unchecked.'

Professor Frank Oberklaid, Director, Centre for Community Child Health, Royal Children's Hospital Melbourne

'Parents of today's children see no place for bullying. They also are seeking a strong partnership with schools to ensure all children are happy and safe at school. In Bully Blocking, Evelyn Field provides parents with a most practical and easy-to-read road map into the future without bullying. Parents who unfold Evelyn's road map will find support and confidence to make that journey successful for their children and their school communities.'

Duncan McInnes, Executive Officer, NSW Parents Council Inc.

'This is a book packed with practical ideas for parents and children to use in understanding and addressing bullying. Evelyn writes with confidence and clarity, and I like her light-hearted presentation. Few of the books available on bullying target both the parent and the child readership - Bully Blocking does. It is easy to read, and the extensive information is presented in an attractive format.'

Dr Valerie Besag, Consultant Educational Psychologist, author of Understanding Girls' Friendships, Fights and Feuds: A Practical Approach to Girls' Bullying

Bully Blocking of related interest

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Being Bullied

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ISBN 978 1 84310 843 6

New Perspectives on Bullying

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ISBN 9781 85302 872 4

Listening to Young People in School Youth Work and Counselling

Nick Luxmoore

ISBN 978 1 85302 909 7

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ISBN 978 1 84310 466 7

Nurture Groups in School and at Home

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Bully Blocking

Six Secrets to Help Children Deal with Teasing and Bullying

Revised Edition

Evelyn M. Field

Jessica Kingsley Publishers London and Philadelphia

This work was originally published in Australia and New Zealand as Bully Blocking: Six secrets to help children deal with teasing and bullying, by Finch Publishing Pty Limited, Sydney, in 2007 and is a revised edition of Bullybusting: How to help children deal with teasing and bullying, published by Finch Publishing in 1999.

This edition published in the United Kingdom in 2007 by Jessica Kingsley Publishers 116 Pentonville Road London N1 9JB, UK and

400 Market Street, Suite 400 Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA

Copyright © Evelyn M. Field 1999, 2007

The right of Evelyn M. Field to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright,

Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying or storing it in any medium by electronic means and whether or not transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, 90 Tottenham Court Road, London, England W1T 4LP. Applications for the copyright owner's written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publisher.

Warning: The doing of an unauthorised act in relation to a copyright work may result in both a civil claim for damages and criminal prosecution.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data

Field, Evelyn M. [Bully busting]

Bully blocking : six secrets to help children deal with teasing and bullying / Evelyn M. Field. p. cm.

Originally published: Bully busting. Sydney : Finch Pub., c1999. Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-1-84310-554-1 (pb : alk. paper) 1. Bullying. 2. Bullying—Prevention. 3. Teasing. 4. Teasing—Prevention. 5. Children—Life skills guides. I. Title. BF637.B85F54 2007 302.3—dc22

2007004825

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 978 184310 554 1 ISBN pdf eBook 978 1 84642 632 2

Printed and bound in Great Britain by Athenaeum Press, Gateshead, Tyne and Wear

Notes The 'Authors' notes' section at the back of this book contains useful additional information and references to quoted material in the text. Each reference is linked to the text by its relevant page number and an identifying line entry.

Disclaimers While every care has been taken in researching and compiling the information in this book, it is in no way intended to replace professional legal advice and counselling. Readers are encouraged to seek such help as they deem necessary. The authors and publisher specifically disclaim any liability arising from the application of information in this book.

TM The term Bully Blocking has been trademarked by Evelyn Field.

Confidentiality Most stories in this book are an extract or a collage of several actual cases. Where relevant, permission has been obtained from the family concerned. Any similarity to reality is simply due to the commonality ofmany situations.

Warning This book has been designed to assist targets, bullies and peers, but it is not a therapy book. If the child is very depressed, anxious, traumatised or extremely abusive - or if you feel stuck and powerless - then the publisher and author encourage you to consult a skilled mental health professional.

To Miriam, my beautiful first child, who has gone to another universe but gave me the model 'the Secrets of Relating'; and to my children, Rebecca and David, who gave me the strength and courage to develop it.

To my sister, Vivienne, my brother-in-law, Ruben, and my mother, Marianne, my daughter-in-law, Anna, my very special family and my friends for their love, support and understanding.

I would also like to dedicate this book to my special friend, Barbara Levy, who blossomed from a shy bud into a beautiful, beloved rose.

Thank you to Bufy and Harry, my two papillions, for keeping me company while I wrote this new version and for coaching me in basic social survival skills.

'Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.' ThomasJefferson

'The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.' Edmund Burke

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