Infants, toddlers, and preschoolers with a disorganized attachment perceive their primary caregivers as terribly frightening, abusive, or unavailable. They often become incoherently angry and controlling in their relationships with others. Though deep down they long for affection, they outwardly act removed, distant, distrustful and may become intensely anxious, depressed, or hostile if they are pushed into relating with someone else who shows kindness, warmth or tries close physical contact. These children are often superficially engaging and charming, lack impulse control, are destructive, exploitative, manipulative and chronically angry, are not affectionate on their parents' terms, cannot tolerate external limits or control, trust no one, and often lack remorse and empathy. They are often diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder.
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When Should You Seek Help for Your Child and What Resources Are Available to You?
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Although nobody gets a parenting manual or bible in the delivery room, it is our duty as parents to try to make our kids as well rounded, happy and confident as possible. It is a lot easier to bring up great kids than it is to try and fix problems caused by bad parenting, when our kids have become adults. Our children are all individuals - they are not our property but people in their own right.