Do Not Try to Keep Your Child Happy

Some of the unhappiest children I have ever worked with come from families where the parents have told me they believed it was their role to keep their kids happy. Too often, when we try to keep a child happy we do this because we can't stand to see them unhappy. This is unwise. Children need to understand that the real world will cause them to be unhappy many times and that they need to learn to express their genuine emotions about their pain rather than covering it up or avoiding it.

The child whose parents have catered to his demands expressed through crying or temper is likely to believe that his place in the world is assured as long as people are serving him. Kids who have been "kept happy" by their parents become more and more sullen and demanding every year. Pampered kids fail to learn self-discipline because they don't get the opportunities to make their own mistakes and learn from the consequences. Kids whose parents fear their unhappiness often end up angry with their parents when they realize they haven't adequately learned to run their own lives or make their own decisions. Remember, true happiness comes from doing great things that make us proud of ourselves, not receiving great things from others.

Often, when we apply Principle #2 and remove a freedom or favor, our kids become very angry with us. The experience of getting angry with us at times is actually healthy for them. Stick with your decision. Do not crumple because you are afraid of their displeasure. It is healthy for children to experience their sad, mad, or bad emotions with the ones they love. This will teach them the inevitable reality that all humans at times both love and hate those closest to them. Stand firm and teach them that you love them anyway. Remind yourself that you love your child so much you are willing to allow him to be very angry or unhappy on his journey to learning how to become a responsible person.

Joy Of Modern Parenting Collection

Joy Of Modern Parenting Collection

This is a collection of parenting guides. Within this collection you will find the following titles: Issues, rule and discipline, self esteem and tips plus more.

Get My Free Ebook


Post a comment