1. Demonstrate a positive work ethic by making positive comments to the child regarding employment, training, and education. (1, 2)
1. Assign the parents to communicate a positive attitude about their personal employment by making positive work-related comments directly to their child and during family discussions.
2. Assign the parents to participate in a "Take Your Child to Work Day" or job-shadowing opportunity and to actively engage their gifted/talented child in the experience by helping to create a product, wear a uniform, or
2. Discuss with the child how education, planning, and training have contributed to the personal success of various family members. (3, 4, 5)
Back up the co-parent in issues of discipline and behavior management. (6, 7)
Support the co-parent by emphasizing the co-parent's strengths and positive characteristics to the child. (8, 9)
become involved in an actual work process.
3. Instruct the parents to enlist their children's help in creating an educational family history that lists the education and career paths of various nuclear and extended family members (or complete the "Career Family Tree" activity from the Parenting Skills Homework Planner by Knapp).
4. Instruct the parents to model positive and enthusiastic work habits for the gifted/talented child (e.g., preparing ahead for the workday, limiting sick days).
5. Encourage the parents to relate personal stories and work experiences that will positively shape their child's attitude toward future educational and career decisions.
6. Advise the parents to form a cooperative alliance when addressing child management issues and instruct them to support each other on all discipline decisions.
7. Instruct the parents to discuss child management differences privately away from the child and come to an agreement that both can support.
8. Advise the parents of the child's need to model positive qualities from both parents and instruct them to speak positively and enthusiastically about the strengths and abilities of their spouse.
5. Assign age and ability appropriate tasks and responsibilities to the child. (10, 11)
6. Use controlled choices to set limits for the gifted/talented child. (12, 13)
7. Encourage the gifted/ talented child through low-key affirmations and
9. Instruct separated or divorced parents to point out the positive qualities of their former spouse and/or to avoid disparaging comments that will interfere with the parent/child relationship.
10. Instruct the parents to assign age and ability appropriate tasks and chores to the child at home and to use these assignments to teach the values of quality effort and timely job completion.
11. Assign the parents to use chores and tasks to teach responsibility to the child using the four-step process described in Parenting with Love and Logic (Cline and Fay) (or assign the "Teaching Responsibility" activity from the Parenting Skills Homework Planner by Knapp).
12. Instruct the parents to build the child's decision-making skills by offering many controlled choices (e.g., wear the red shirt or the green shirt, complete homework before or after dinner).
13. Advise the parents to control the child's choices according to the child's age and ability (e.g., small choices for younger children: cheese or peanut butter, larger choices for older children; learn Spanish or French, piano or violin).
14. Instruct the parents to watch for behavior that emulates positive character, high standards and discussions that foster self-awareness. (14, 15)
Attend a parenting class and read literature to learn positive parenting techniques that set limits and encourage healthy independence. (16, 17, 18)
9. Use logical and natural consequences to promote cooperative behavior. (19, 20)
diligence and to affirm the child privately or in the presence of other family members.
15. Instruct the parents to help the child to develop self-awareness through discussions of feelings, special interests, and abilities or to participate with the child in an Internet survey that helps assess personal traits and values (e.g., Making Choices for Life, http://library.thinkquest.org /J001709, Dealing with Feelings, http://www.kidshealth .org/kid/feeling/).
16. Refer the parents to a class that focuses on helping children develop self-confidence and responsible behavior (e.g., Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (STEP) by Dinkmeyer and McKay or The Parent Talk System by Moorman and Knapp).
17. Assign the parents to read literature describing effective parenting techniques for gifted and talented children (e.g., How to Parent so Children Will Learn by Rimm).
18. Refer the parents to a support group addressing under-achievement, academic motivation, or giftedness in children (e.g., Council for Exceptional Children (703) 6203660) [www.cec.sped.org]).
19. Teach the parents the role that natural and logical consequences play in fostering independence and character development in their gifted/talented child (e.g., the establishment of: cause and effect thinking, responsible decision making, problem ownership, self-reliant behavior).
20. Advise the parents that empathy and compassion when combined with a logical consequence (e.g., "You spilled the milk, that's too bad. Please get a cloth and clean it up.") is significantly more powerful and effective than anger combined with punishment (e.g., "You spilled the milk. What a mess! Go to your room, now!").
10. Allow the child to make 21. Assign the parents to promote decisions and earn privileges responsible decision making by based on competence and asking the child to make the demonstrated level of decision when an issue is maturity. (21, 22) noncritical and age-appropriate and to decide within the limitations and guidance provided by the parents for more important issues.
22. Instruct the parents to grant privileges based on the child's demonstrated level of competence and responsibility (e.g., move from high chair to table after child can sit without throwing food, child crosses street alone after mastering safety rules).
11. Avoid power struggles by 23. Advise parents to avoid power clearly designing struggles with the child by expectations and setting expressing clearly defined enforceable limits. (23, 24) expectations and using contingency management strategies that make privileges dependent upon compliance (e.g., "You may watch television as soon as you homework is completed.").
12. Encourage positive adult and peer role models. (25, 26)
13. Set up predictable procedures for meals, bedtime, the morning routine, and study time. (27, 28)
24. Assign the parents to brainstorm with their child the personal qualities required to work cooperatively with others (e.g., speaking and listening, problem solving, acceptance) and to list opportunities for developing and practicing these skills at home and in school.
25. Instruct the parents to communicate with adult role models selected by the child (e.g., coach music teacher, family friend, or family member), advise them of their influence, and request that they keep their message positive and supportive.
26. Assign the parents to diffuse the negative influence of peer role models by explaining to the child that popularity is overrated during the school years and that true friendship based on shared interest, support, and mutual enjoyment lasts well beyond senior high school.
27. Instruct the parents to establish family procedures for meals, bedtime, and the morning routine so that the child is held accountable for being prepared (or assign the "Procedures for Meals, Bedtime, and the Morning Routine" activity from the Parenting Skills Homework Planner by Knapp).
28. Assign the parents to assist their child in developing study skills procedures that designate the time and place for school-work, duration of the study time, methods of checking the work, and parental involvement.
14. Teach the child study skills, test preparation, planning for projects, and creative techniques to promote academic success. (29, 30)
15. Utilize family trips, outings, and activities to promote the joy of discovery and learning. (31, 32)
16. Meet with the child's teacher and/or other educational staff to develop a plan for effectively challenging and motivating the gifted/talented child to achieve. (33, 34)
29. Encourage the parents to teach the child study habits that will enhance success in school and college (e.g., record assignments in a planner, break large projects into smaller study segments, allow for additional study time).
30. Assign the parents to monitor their children's school attendance, punctuality, and academic achievement, to recognize progress and achievement in these areas and to offer guidance, encouragement, and discipline where necessary.
31. Assign the parents to take several actual or virtual (using books or video) parent-child field trips to explore community, national, or worldwide historical sites and points of interest.
32. Assign the parents to expose their children to multilingual diversity by learning a foreign language as a family project and to utilize this second language during trips to multilingual destinations.
33. Advise the parents to consult the school regarding aptitude and interest tests available to their children at various grade levels.
34. Encourage the parents to emphasize the crucial connection between school performance and future success in their child's career choices by detailing how specific curriculum is used in the
17. Encourage the child to participate in a well-balanced academic, social, and extracurricular program. (35, 36, 37)
18. Set post-graduate educational, career, and lifestyle expectations for the gifted/talented child. (38, 39)
workplace (e.g., math facilitates money management, reading facilitates awareness of work-related directives; writing facilitates communication with others).
35. Instruct the parents to discuss progress reports, grade cards, conference input, and the results of tests and evaluations with the child immediately to keep the child informed, understand the child's perspective, and to emphasize the family's focus upon quality education.
36. Assign the parents to engage the child in at least one extracurricular activity that supports and promotes the child's special interest or ability.
37. Encourage the parents to focus upon the individual interests and abilities of the child and to emphasize personal best achievement rather than competition to prevent sibling and peer rivalry.
38. Encourage the parents and the child to begin a journal or portfolio for the child that details important demographic and personal data (e.g., early childhood information, health history, school information).
39. Ask the parents to work with the child to create an ongoing list of future goals and aspirations to be entered in the child's academic and career journal.
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