Overcoming Negative Emotions and Problems

Ho'oponopono Certification

The Ho'oponopono Certification will teach you some fundamental strategies that will help you do away with all the negative energies. By so doing, you will become a positive person, leading a positive life as well. The program is a creation of two individuals, Dr. Joe Vitale and Mathew Dixon. The former is an actor and has featured in many books, apart from being a professional in the implementation of the law of attraction in ensuring people lead better lives. Mathew is an influential healing musician. The two individuals teamed up to modernize the Ho'oponopono strategy in the program. The program was established following a thorough research and tests. It is a step by step guide that will ensure you successfully let go of your cognizant and intuitive memory, bringing to an end all your problems. The program consists of 8 eight videos, each taking 40 minutes. These videos will explain each and every detail of the program to ensure that you fully understand all the necessary techniques. There is no reason to hesitate. Purchase it today transform your life for good. Continue reading...

Hooponopono Certification Summary

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Author: Dr. Joe Vitale and Mathew Dixon
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Thought Elevators

A new research on success and its manifestation conducted by Stanford University answers questions about Tibetan Monks and the secret to their long-lasting happiness, not to mention eternal success. Their brains were studied and it was found that they used some kind of a technique called the Brain Elevation Technique. It is merely a meditation that used to take them to a state known as Theta State of mind. And that is when the universe starts bestowing good will upon you. It is much like hypnosis, whereby your subconscious brain is targeted and fed with new ideas. Like many people who reshape a certain field, Eric Taller reshaped what we know about the Theta State and the path to it. He summarized the process in 4 steps and created a 3-minute video that prepared him for the process. After that, he created 33-minute audio with the help of a sound engineer. That audio contained music of the frequencies 4 Hz and 7 Hz and audio motivational speeches. In Thought Elevator's package you get the video and audio and these bonuses, Bonus 1: Success While You Sleep, bonus 2: How to Plant a Money Tree? Bonus 3: Recognizing Your Soulmate, bonus 4: I Love Myself, bonus 5: Manifesting Health for Boomers. Continue reading...

Thought Elevators Summary

Contents: Videos, Audios
Creator: Eric Taller
Price: $47.00

Preventing The Worstcase Scenario Why You Better Start Changing Bad Attitudes Today

One thing is clear it's up to us.We must take immediate action, or there will be disastrous long-term effects on our children's potential for happiness and fulfillment. Here are ten outcomes that could happen if we don't make an emergency intervention and allow our kids to hold on to those bad attitudes. Undermine Character. Character determines your child's reputation as a human being.Virtues like kindness, empathy, respect, tolerance, perseverance, fairness, and honesty form our children's character, beliefs, and attitudes. Bad attitudes comprise all those vices that counter solid character development disrespect, insensitivity, rudeness, laziness, meanness, and more. Ridding your kid of his bad attitude makes room for those essential virtues to blossom and increases the likelihood of his developing strong character. Destroy Reputations. Think about it kids don't like to be around peers who are rude and demanding, and neither do adults. Bad attitudes can doom a kid's reputation, and...

Facing Your Own Bad Attitudes

Your attitude is a living textbook to your child, so the first place to start a bad attitude makeover is by reflecting on your temper and how you deal with fTustrations.These questions might help How did your parents handle anger Did you hear them do much yelling Did you ever see them throw things or get into a shoving match How about among your siblings Who, if anybody, in your family or close friends had a quick temper How do people respond to them What responses were effective in calming them down In escalating their temper

Bad Attitude Antidotes And Replacements

In an effective makeover, not only do you have to stop the bad attitude, but you must also boost the missing virtue whose absence has created the problem in the first place. For example, if your kid has been fresh and giving you a lot back talk, you better be sure that a crucial part of eliminating his of bad attitude is replacing it with respect. That will not only make your family more harmonious and you less stressful, but you'll also get an added bonus of a better behaved kid with stronger character.What follows is a list of benefits that will result from the twenty-four bad attitude makeovers in this book. Bad Attitude Bad Attitude

The Bad Attitude Intelligence Test

Just how much do you know about bad attitudes and how to change them Answer the following questions true or false. The results may surprise you. 5. Being affluent and having a higher education has little to do with your child's good or bad attitude. 6. A bad attitude is just a phase. Let it go your kid will outgrow it. Here are the answers with some explanation. Check out your bad attitude intelligence score. 6. False. Don't wait a moment before putting a halt to your kid's bad attitude. The longer you wait, the tougher it will be to change. 8. False. It's not my intention to help you change your child's personality or temperament. But it is your job as a parent to stop your kid from being selfish, narrow-minded, and noncompliant, and having other bad attitudes that lead to weak character and poor moral intelligence. 10. False. It's never too late to change bad attitudes. It may get harder as kids get older and more set in their ways, but that is no excuse. Plenty of older kids make...

The Seven Worst Mistakes In Trying To Change Bad Attitudes

So you've tried your hardest to change your kid's bad attitudes, and nothing has worked.You recognize your kid is spoiled, and you've really made an effort to stop his greedy, self-centered, defiant, or flippant ways.And you're still having little success. You've threatened, scolded, bribed, and begged, but nothing seems to work. Frankly, you're at your wit's end. Why isn't your response working Why have none of your methods been successful How can you be sure that your child changes her ways and stops her bad attitudes for good The first thing you must do is rethink how you're going about it now. Thinking It's Just a Phase. Spoiled behavior and bad attitudes don't go away by themselves. They almost always need parental intervention.The longer you wait, the more likely the attitude will become a habit. So don't call it a phase jump in and commit yourself to stopping your kid's bad attitude as soon as it starts. Being a Poor Model. Our own attitudes have enormous influence on our kids'...

Bad Attitude Emergencies Immediate Intervention Needed

Almost all bad attitudes include being selfish, self-centered, and insensitive. But aside from these generalities, it is crucial for us as parents to figure out which of our kids' specific attitudes need our urgent attention. Only then can you change them. You'll probably find that there may be more than one attitude that needs immediate intervention. Some attitudes may overlap. For instance, the bad-tempered kid can also be defiant.The uncooperative child can also be lazy.The arrogant child may also be judgmental or narrow-minded. Bad attitudes can also spiral into even worse bad attitudes. For example, the bad-mannered kid can become fresh, and the fresh kid can become noncompliant. The impatient kid can become bad-tempered the poor loser can become manipulative. And identifying your kid's bad attitude may not be as easy as spotting a bad behavior since attitudes run deeper and are often hidden. You can usually see your kid's misbehavior whining, hitting, tattling, talking back,...

How Do People See

There's no way you can be completely objective about your own attitudes and how they influence your role as parent. One of the best ways to get a clear view of yourself is to imagine yourself in the shoes of your family and friends and ask yourself how they would characterize your parenting style.Which bad attitude types below would your friends and family say are sometimes typical of you as a parent

Whats Wrong With Your Current Response

How do you typically respond to your child's uncooperative actions Do you ignore them Lecture him Punish Give a stern look Sit down next to him until he complies Argue What is the typical way you respond to your kid's uncooperative attitude Does it work in curbing his bad attitude Why or why not How does your kid typically respond to your response

Emergency Attitude

Enforce a sharing attitude by immediate and active interven-tion.The most crucial basic skill to cure an uncooperative bad attitude is sharing. If you don't know how to share, you'll never be able to take turns, work on a team, get along in a family or group of friends, or collaborate in a workplace. So you better get started early in teaching this essential good attitude. Teach cooperative play with your younger child by sitting side by side, taking turns, and sharing every toy so he experiences the give and take of everyday life. Do it in the sandbox, playing with dolls, stuffed animals, and action toys, building blocks, and working with clay. For older kids, start with board games then graduate to playing catch, Frisbee, video games, and ultimately work projects in the home, yard, or community. In each case, you'll be teaching your kid how to work with other individuals or in a team.

Making Children Into Competent Witnesses And Esplin

Variations on a technique Enhancing children's recall using narrative elaboration training. Applied Cognitive Psychology, 17, 377-399. Hershkowitz, I., Orbach, Y, Lamb, M. E., Sternberg, K. J., & Horowitz, D. (2001). The effects of mental context reinstatement on children's accounts of sexual abuse. Applied Cognitive Psychology, 15, 235-248. Hyman, I. E., Husband, T. H., & Billings, J. F. (1995). False memories of childhood experiences. Applied Cognitive Psychology, 9, 181-197. Lamb, M. E., & Fauchier, A. (2001). The effects of question type on self-contradictions by children in the course of forensic interviews. Applied Cognitive Psychology, 15, 483-491. Ornstein, P. A., Gordon, B. N., & Larus, D. M. (1992). Children's memory for a personally experienced event Implications for testimony. Applied Cognitive Psychology, 6, 49-60. Peterson, C., & Whalen, N. (2001). Five years later Children's memory for medical emergencies. Applied Cognitive...

Mental Context Reinstatement

Studies of cognitive techniques such as mental context reinstatement (MCR guiding children to mentally reconstruct the settings in which the events occurred) indicate that this can be a useful technique for helping children retrieve as much information as possible (Bekerian, Den-net, Hill, & Hitchcock, 1990 Hershkowitz, Orbach, Lamb, Sternberg, & Horowitz, 2001 McCauley & Fisher, 1995, 1996). Using MCR, children are instructed to think about different sensory features of the event (e.g., what they could hear, see, smell) and different aspects of the event (e.g., what the place looked like) before beginning to verbally recount what they remember. Consistent with the expectation that mental reinstatement of context will help witnesses to mentally travel back in time and relive the experience, MCR increases the similarity between the conditions at recall and those at the time of the experience, thereby making

Attention to Trauma Related Information in Maltreated Populations

Studying maltreated children can provide crucial information about mechanisms that underlie emotional processing and, by extension, autobiographical memory. It has been proposed that, in certain respects, maltreated children process emotional cues differently than do nonmaltreated children (see Pollak, 2003, for review). Specifically, Pollak (2003) contends that the processing of negative emotions can be heightened in maltreated children because negative emotional signals in their home environments are prominent and or because children perceive evidence of threats in such signals. According to this view, abused children develop patterns of information processing that reflect priming for negative emotions. If physically abused children are primed to anger cues in the environment, one would expect to see heightened reactions in the brain to emotional stimuli. To examine this possibility, Pollak et al. (1997) examined the event-related potential component P300, which may reflect...

Mark l howe gail s goodman and dante cicchetti

Few questions in developmental psychology have received as much international attention as have those concerning the impact of childhood trauma on memory. Until recently, the lack of scientific research to constrain theory has fueled controversy about such questions as Does childhood trauma lead to deficits in memory, including a greater propensity for errors of commission (e.g., 'false memory') or errors of omission (e.g., 'lost memory') and Are the neurohormonal changes that are linked to childhood trauma and stress associated with changes in children's basic memory processing abilities Scientists have also struggled with how to conceptualize and measure distress and other negative emotions for instance, in terms of discrete emotions (fear, anger, sadness), physiological responsivity (e.g., through cortisol production functional magnetic resonance imaging), or observer ratings.

Discrete Emotions and Memory in Children

In one investigation, Fivush et al (2003) compared 5- to 12-year-old children's memories of positive experiences (e.g., family vacations and school trips) and of stressful negative experiences (e.g., interpersonal violence, serious illness, medical procedures). Memory content was coded with respect to mention of persons, places, objects, actions, descriptions, and internal states. Although the overall amount of information recalled was equivalent across positive and negative experiences, the negative memory reports were more coherent and included more information about children's thoughts and emotions. Positive memories, in contrast, included a wide range of information about people, actions, and descriptions (also see Fivush & Sales, 2004). These findings are consistent with the research on adults showing that people experiencing positive emotions attend to, and remember, a broader range of information than do people experiencing negative emotions (e.g., Fredrickson, 1998). Turning...

Final Thoughts Before The Big Attitude Makeover

Child Attitude Chang

Tudes means you'll need a specific makeover plan, and that's exactly what I give you in this book.All you need to do is identify the bad attitude you want to change, find the chapter that addresses it, and then be committed and consistent in following the specific plan of action per attitude. Which bad attitude will you work on first Which attitudes would you like to tune up most in your child Flip to the Contents in the front of this book, and review the list. Talk to other important caregivers in your child's life to get their opinions. Mark the attitudes that concern you. Choose one that you would like to change now. Granted, there may be several you are concerned about, but stay realistic and practical.Write the attitude on the line below. Now turn to the chapter with the Attitude Makeover and start.There's no time better than the present. Do keep the perspective. No, it won't be easy. No, your child will not change overnight. But change will happen if you are consistent and...

Trauma and Emotion Regulation

Although there seems to be a growing consensus in the literature that trauma-related memory problems reflect an emotion regulation style adopted during childhood, there are some unaddressed issues that bear on the plausibility of this explanation. First, this model has focused primarily on childhood trauma, and the role of recent or current stressors in autobiographical memory problems has not been addressed. Yet it seems possible that current stressors could elicit a more transient strategic response that involves avoiding details to control affect, thus mimicking the trait-like style adopted in response to childhood traumata. In addition, childhood trauma is associated with negative outcomes and revictimiza-tion, and those more recent negative experiences may be correlated with memory functioning. The issue is further clouded by the reliance in previous research on retrospective self-reports of early trauma. Documentation of early experiences through retrospective reports is not...

Step Give Your Kids a Clear Message About Responsible Attitudes

Take time to explain your beliefs and expectations about responsibilities. Consider developing a family motto about responsibility. A father in Atlanta told me that conveying this life message to his kids was so important that they spent an afternoon together brainstorming family anthems about responsibility such as We keep our word, We always do our best, We can be

Facing Our Own Hidden Demons

Being selfish, spoiled, or insensitive, a victim of the Big Brat Factor, a member of the bad attitude generation is not just your kid's problem. This crisis is a big crisis for you and your entire family. To help your child change, you need to step back and look at the big picture, and the place to start is by taking a good, honest look in the mirror. You are the most enormous influence on your kid's attitude. Before you start planning how to change your kid's attitude, take a serious look at your own. Here are a few reasons you may be allowing your kid's bad attitude to continue.They I just don't seem to have the time or energy to deal with his bad attitude.

Whats The Difference Between Attitude And Behavior

The spoiled kid crisis we're facing as parents today goes beyond just bad behavior to the underlying root cause of bad attitudes for example Bad attitudes are a bad way of looking at life. Kids who see the world as a cold and cruel place are often selfish and insensitive. And because they do believe it's acceptable, they treat others with meanness, rudeness, and intolerance. Bad attitudes are usually made up of bad behavior habits. Kids with bad-tempered attitudes usually start out by displaying their anger in unhealthy ways, such as biting, hitting, tantrums, or fighting. If not corrected, those bad behaviors turn into bad habits, and soon the child develops one big bad attitude that says to the world, I'll use my anger to get what I want. Bad attitudes are often hidden and hard to figure. Kids who are insecure, fearful, and anxious may conceal or compensate for their feelings with attitudes of pessimism, jealousy, and cynicism. Bad attitudes run deep and can last a lifetime. Kids...

Where Is This Coming From

Of course, there are other known causes that do contribute to the demise of kids' sensitivity, respect, and appreciation.A few more common reasons bad attitudes are flourishing in today's youth include these classic parenting blunders. Feeling Stressed and Exhausted. It's a fast-paced world these days, and many parents freely admit they barely have energy to phone for take-out food. So who has time to deal with a kid's bad attitude It's far easier to let it slide. And so, more often than not, the bad attitude becomes a habit. Misunderstanding Self-Esteem. One of the biggest parenting blunders is thinking that saying no to will diminish kids' self-esteem and spirit. Nothing could be further from the truth, so let me set the record straight authentic self-esteem is about feeling worthy about who you are and competent to cope with life.What kid is going to feel worthy and competent with a bad attitude His reputation suffers, adults give him those looks, friends pull away, and he loses...

Healthy bodies make healthy minds

Children need to be healthy to confront it. Many children who are bullied avoid the playground and find refuge in a library or computer room. They don't do enough exercise to remain healthy and to physically release their negative emotions. Some overdose on comfort food and put on weight, which will increase the bullying and decrease their self-esteem.

Therapeutic Interventions

Review treatment options with the parents (e.g., no intervention, behavioral interventions, cognitive therapy, medication, hospitalization) and help them determine an initial plan based on the following considerations (1) The age of the child, (2) the severity of the illness, (3) existing comorbid conditions, and (4) parents and child's attitude toward medication. 9. Assign the parents to assist the child in identifying and eliminating negative thoughts

Explanations for Abuse Related Autobiographical Memory Patterns Trauma and Cognitive Resources

One explanation for trauma-related autobiographical memory problems is that they reflect more general cognitive deficits caused by intrusive thoughts about traumatic experiences. Adults with histories of childhood trauma such as sexual or physical abuse frequently report having recurrent and intrusive negative thoughts about their victimization experiences (e.g., Kuyken & Brewin, 1994). Individuals who experience intrusive thoughts characterize them as unpleasant and report engaging in effortful attempts to avoid them (Kuyken & Brewin, 1994). Concerted efforts to block intrusive thoughts, however, are typically unsuccessful and often lead to even more frequent intrusions (Kuyken & Brewin, 1994, 1995 Wegner, Schneider, Carter, & White, 1987). Kukyen and Brewin (1995) have argued that this combination of intrusive memories and efforts to avoid them drains limited storage and processing resources in working memory. The depletion of cognitive resources, in turn, is thought to increase the...

Step Announce a No Freshness Policy and Then Stick to It

Calmly announce your zero tolerance for fresh behavior and language to your kid. Make sure it is a relaxed, uninterrupted time, and then clarify your new policy in a firm, serious tone. This is no time for discussion, negotiation, or compromise. In fact, the whole discussion should be brief. Just express why his fresh attitude will no longer be tolerated you might explain your family's code of values and your personal beliefs and how a fresh attitude goes against those values. Also let your child know that if his attitude continues, there will be a consequence. Here are a few ways to explain your new standards

Step Acknowledge a Positive Attitude

Initiate a Power of Positive Thinking Campaign in your family so everyone, and especially your kid with the pessimistic attitude, can learn positive statements to say inside their head to counter negative thoughts. This campaign will build confidence, and help everyone handle adversity as well. Here are a few positive thoughts to try or ask your kid to create his own

Nonreligious Parenting Discussion Boards

Third, work to uncover the religious diversity present in every family. Even if you see your Southern Baptist clan as a sea of monolithic religiosity around the Secular Island of You, it's an illusion. There is always some variety in openness, in actual beliefs, and in comfort with difference. Find those who are religious but open and engage in a fascinating and easily overheard conversation about religious beliefs at your next family reunion or Thanksgiving gathering. This is not a time for critical challenge, just wide-eyed interest in this wonderful tapestry of belief.

Endless Fantasy and Imaginary Friends

A child's disappearance into her fantasy play allows her to accommodate her deepest wishes with imaginary gratification. By recalling the events of her day through fantasy play, she is often able to deal with and process overwhelming and incomprehensible elements of the real world. Your child is able to do and be in her fantasy world what she is unable to do or be in the real world. Fantasy also allows her to work through stressful relationships in ways that don't attract rejection or punishment. For example, she can act out negative feelings toward her parents, siblings, playmates, and caregivers. Your child can practice social skills with her imaginary friend in a non-threatening, self-reliant way. Imaginary friends can help the preschooler deal with missing or absent parents, upsetting friends, and powerful urges. Imaginary friends can provide a companion when lonely, a comfort after a time out, and even a figure to blame for misdeeds.

Metaphors Built On A Basis Of Evidence

The art of skilled child therapists largely lies in their ability to develop a sound working alliance with the child and to translate the evidence-based data into an accessible, understandable, and applicable format for that given child client. How do you convert the language of scientific journals into the language and experience of an enuretic child or suicidal teenager How do you communicate to a depressed child about cognitive distortions (Beck, Brown, Berchick, Stewart, & Steer 1990), learned patterns ofhelplessness (Seligman, 1990, 1995), and attributional styles (Yapko, 1992, 1997) Overcoming Adversity (Stories 71 and 72) are built on the evidence-based, cognitive, attributional styles of people who cope well with adversity, and those who do not. The child version (Story 71) is an easy-listening tale that compares and contrasts the opposing cognitive styles of two young dinosaurs who respond differently to the same situation. One models optimism, specific thinking, an outward...

After Infancy Developmentally Based Mothering

It is difficult to discern the changes in mothering over time. Cultural factors, family patterns and traditions, personal beliefs, the presence or absence of risk factors, and the context of the environment all contribute to changes in the mothering role over the child's development. Additionally, the distinctions between mothering and parenting blur as the child ages. Does this mean that mothering ceases and parenting replaces it Does it mean that actual mothering surfaces only as the child's needs demand it What are the defining factors for mothering as opposed to parenting Based on child development factors, mothering should see decreases in the amount of caregiving required and increases in the amount of strategies for enhancing the child's independence and autonomy. In addition, as the child ages, mothering needs to reflect the child's increasing capacity for self-reliance. Table 1.1 describes expectations of mothering in terms of acts of monitoring, expectant nurturing, and...

Exploring the Role of Discrete Emotions

Of note, most research concerning emotion and memory in children has investigated how well they remember distressing experiences. As such, our chapter focuses primarily on negative emotions, such as fear, anger, and sadness, each of which may be experienced to various degrees during a stressful event. In the future, it will be necessary to expand this area of research to examine how different positive as well as negative emotions affect children's memory for personal experiences. Also, in our review, we address how children's emotions at the time of encoding relate to their later memory. Of course, emotional experiences are not static states, and individuals' appraisals of situations, emotional responses, and adaptation to emotions continually change, often over extended periods following an event's occurrence (for a review, see Ellsworth & Scherer, 2003). These changing appraisals can affect memory (Baker-Ward, Eaton, & Banks, 2005 Levine, Prohaska, Burgess, Rice, & Laulhere, 2001)...

Part One Confronting the Crisis

Exposing the Big Brat Factor 3 What's the Difference Between Attitude and Behavior 7 We've Got a Big Problem 9 Where Is This Coming From 11 The Bad Attitude Intelligence Test 15 Preventing the Worst-Case Scenario Why You Better Start Changing Bad Attitudes Today 17 Bad Attitude Emergencies Immediate Intervention Needed 20 The Seven Worst Mistakes in Trying to Change Bad Attitudes 26 Bad Attitude Antidotes and Replacements 28 Facing Our Own Hidden Demons 29 How Do People See You 31 Your Own Attitude Makeover 32 How to Use This Book 32 Final Thoughts Before the Big Attitude Makeover 34

Antidote Good Sportsmanship Fairness Forgiveness

My wife and I are really concerned about our son's attitude he's such a poor loser, and I don't mean about just sports but everything at home, school, among his friends. If something goes wrong for him, he just can't accept it Instead he makes excuses or blames everyone (us, the teacher, his friends, the coach).At this rate, nobody's going to want him in their class or on a team. How can I turn around this bad attitude Bad Attitude Act Out

Maybe My Child Will Grow out of His Symptoms

Psychiatric disorders in children can cause lifelong shadows since the suffering disability and family distress leads to additional problems. Older children with untreated AD HD have a very high incidence of poor school performance, substance abuse, car accidents, strained family and friend relationships, high job turnovers, and general life difficulties. Early and appropriate intervention can avert a downward spiral of bad effects.

Step Set a Consequence That Enforces Honesty and Ethics

Beware Confronting kids with their deceptions long after the fact ( Your teacher last year said you had cheated or Remember when you lied to me about your chores last month ) is useless. For consequences to be effective in curbing bad attitudes, they must be enforced immediately and fit the crime. I always think the best consequences are ones that also right the kid's wrong. With that said, here are some consequences that help kids tune up their moral attitudes, face their wrongdoing, as well as learn that manipulation is not acceptable

Weve Got A Big Problem

Many parents assume that attitude isn't something that develops until the preadolescent or teen years. But times have changed, and any parent paying attention now realizes that even a four year old can have all the full-blown symptoms of a bad attitude.And boy can they make us miserable their sass, back talk, and greedy, manipulative, bossy, and even defiant ways let us know in no uncertain terms that these little critters are on the road to poor character and a lack of moral intelligence not to mention the damage their attitude can do to your family harmony. So don't think for a minute that bad attitude starts only when kids start watching MTV, talking on cell phones, sending instant e-mail messages, and playing video games. Of course, they don't start out that way the onset of a bad attitude has usually begun with smaller but definitely annoying actions a whiny tone, a fresh comment, or a quiet rebuttal of an adult's request. Parents usually assumed their kids' conduct was just a...

Managing Emotions

P ositive emotions have an undoing effect on negative emotions, asserts Fredrickson (2000), adding that desired feelings such as joy, interest, and contentment broaden a person's thought-action repertoire, in turn building enduring resources for survival and well-being. This is much the same principal as Joseph Wolpe established with reciprocal inhibition and systematic desensitization You overcome the undesired emotion by creating the desired one. For parents, teachers, and child therapists this means that the more you help a child discover and experience his or her potential for creating happiness and well-being, the less likely that child is to experience anxiety, depression, or anger. Appropriately managing emotions also involves learning that there are times when grief, though painful, may be an appropriate process of adjustment, or that fear, though uncomfortable, may prevent a child's entering into a dangerous situation.

Summary

Further research is clearly needed to identify the mechanisms underlying the effects of discrete emotions on memory, but the findings reported above support the view that discrete emotions evoke appraisal tendencies (Lerner & Keltner, 2000) as well as action tendencies (Frijda, 1986) that influence the processing, encoding, and retrieval of information in ways that are consistent with the differing functions of discrete emotions. Overall, negative emotions promote a focus on central information in

Healing Your Self

Do you feel that your intense negative emotions sometimes get the best of you One of the best benefits to being a parent is that you can heal yourself in the process of raising your child. You may have noticed aspects of your parenting that upset you because they remind you of painful experiences from your own childhood. This is very common. As parents we tend to re-create in adulthood the same dynamics and emotional climate we experienced as a child because humans are drawn toward the familiar. Adults who come from chaotic homes filled with alcoholism or a sense of helplessness often marry a partner with similar characteristics and repeat the pattern. Adults who felt emotionally abandoned as children frequently create adult relationships that leave them feeling abandoned because this is the feeling they are most familiar with and, ironically, most comfortable with. The first step to addressing this is understanding your negative emotions, where they come from, and how to begin to...

Sensitivity

Temperament sometimes heavily influences toddlers and preschoolers' difficult behaviors. If your child's frequent bouts of difficult and out-of-control behaviors are due in large part to his temperament, you will likely describe him in the following way high activity, low body function predictability, low adaptability, high intensity, negative moods, low persistence, high distractibil-ity, and high sensitivity. Clearly, the more this list matches your child's temperamental traits, potentially the more extreme your child's behaviors may be.

You as social coach

One day someone enterprising will create a social survival skills programme which can be directly installed into a child's brain. Meanwhile, help your child trash his negative beliefs and replace them with respectful, assertive, self-protective behaviours. All the skills in this book are practised every day, everywhere, by confident, popular children. If you don't believe me, then just check with your child how the sociable, popular kids would react in a similar situation.

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