Intact Families Ebook

Save The Marriage

Lee Baucom, Ph. D. shows couples with marriage troubles a new way to save their marriage that is far more effective than any marriage counselor in this marriage course. In 4 easy-to-read modules, Dr. Baucom shows the step by step way to save a marriage that is in danger of ending any day. These show the top 5 mistakes that most people make in marriage, the REAL secrets to a happy marriage, why marriage counseling can actually HURT your marriage more, and how to move beyond your emotions into action. This module can actually have you saving your marriage in less than an hour, sometimes even 10 minutes. This book also comes with 4 bonus gifts free: Coping With a Midlife Marriage Crisis, Recovering from an Affair, 5 Rules for Fighting Fair, and an eBook written by a couple who was on the edge of divorce and the methods they used to get a happy marriage back. Marriage can be hard, but divorce is harder, on you and your children. Why risk it? Continue reading...

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Author: Lee Baucom
Official Website: www.savethemarriage.com
Price: $47.00

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Highly Recommended

This is one of the best ebooks I have read on this field. The writing style was simple and engaging. Content included was worth reading spending my precious time.

This ebook does what it says, and you can read all the claims at his official website. I highly recommend getting this book.

Parenting in the Face of Bitter Parental Fighting Separation or Divorce

Every year more than a million new children in the nation experience a divorce between their parents. Although many of these children will adapt well, about a quarter of them will develop mental health or adjustment problems (including academic, social, and behavior problems). This is about twice the rate of children from intact families. Bitter parental fighting, domestic violence, separations, and divorces cause serious life stresses with enormous impact on toddlers and preschoolers. Emotional and physical abuse between spouses does incalculable harm to children. Kids exposed to this are sure to show more extreme behaviors.

Quantitative Assessments of Father Involvement in Intact Families

The extent to which fathers in intact families participate in childcare needs to be distinguished from the level of involvement of fathers who are not coresident with their children for a variety of reasons, including divorce or out-of-wedlock births. In fact, this conceptual distinction reflects the contradictory trends in the fathering literature that Furstenberg (1988, p. 193) has characterized as the two faces of fatherhood. On the one hand, fathers seem to be increasing their involvement and moving slowly toward more equal participation with their wives in the care and rearing of children. On the other hand, increases in father absence, nonpayment of child support, and denial of paternity suggest that a less desirable side of fatherhood is evident as well. As in prior decades, the movement is not linear and straightforward but is contradictory and inconsistent. Even among contemporary fathers in intact families, there is considerable variability in the level and type of...

Consequences of Fatherhood for Men Themselves

Perhaps most attention has been devoted to the impact of the transition to parenthood on marriage. The general finding from a large number of studies is that there is a decline in marital satisfaction, especially on the part of men, as a consequence of the birth of a child (see Belsky and Pensky, 1988, for a review). The psychological adjustments associated with the transition to fatherhood are clearly evident in the longitudinal study by Cowan and Cowan (1985, 1992). Their project followed families from pregnancy until the children were 5 years of age. These investigators found that father's marital satisfaction showed a modest decrease from pregnancy to 6 months postpartum, but a sharp decline between 6 and 18 months postpartum. In contrast, mothers showed a much more linear decline, beginning in the postpartum period and continuing across the first 2 years. In this same period of 18 months, 12.5 of the couples separated or divorced by the time the...

Therapeutic Interventions

Assign the parents to describe and rate the current health of their marriage in various categories (e.g., parenting, shared responsibilities, intimacy or assign the State of Our Marriage Report activity from the Parenting Skills Homework Planner by Knapp). 8. Ask the parents to make a commitment to strengthen their marriage and to follow through by attending counseling sessions, completing homework assignments, and implementing team-building strategies with the partner.

Changing Societal Conditions as Determinants of Father Child Relationships

A number of society-wide changes in the United States have produced a variety of shifts in the nature of early family relationships. Fertility rates and family size have decreased, the percentage of women in the workforce has increased, the timing of onset of parenthood has shifted, divorce rates have risen, and the number of single-parent families has increased (for reviews see Furstenberg and Cherlin, 1991 Hernandez, 1993 Marsiglio, 1998). In this subsection, the effects of two of these changes timing of parenthood and recent shifts in family employment patterns are explored to illustrate the impact of social change on father-child and family relationships. Exploration of these shifts will serve to underscore an additional theme, namely the importance of considering the historical period or era in which social change occurs.

Bad Attitude News Alert

Involved dads can make a major contribution to raising sensitive, empathie kids. A long-term study begun in the 1950s found that children whose fathers were positively involved in their care when they were age five were found thirty years later to be more empathic, sensitive adults than those whose fathers were absent. Another study involving first-grade boys in intact families revealed that kids whose fathers took more responsibility for their sons' discipline and schoolwork and were more involved in their children's personal problems were significantly more tuned into the feelings and needs of others. This was true regardless of the father's own level of empathy.

Fathers and Family Variation

In spite of demands for a greater awareness of family diversity, the range of family types that are studied is still relatively narrow. Although progress has been made in describing interaction patterns of fathers and children in different cultures (Bornstein, 1991 Demo et al., 2000 Ishii-Kuntz, 2000 Roopnarine and Carter, 1992) and in different ethnic groups and social classes in the United States (Deutsch, 1999 Gadsen, 1999 Leyendecker and Lamb, 1999 Parke Coltrane et al., in press), this work represents only a beginning, and much more detailed descriptive, as well as process-oriented work, is necessary if we are to achieve a balanced and nuanced understanding of how cultural beliefs and practices influence fathering behaviors. Another form of diversity that warrants more attention is structural variation. In view of the high rates of single mothers and divorced families, caution is necessary in generalizing from intact families to single-parent households...

Implications of Father Involvement for Childrens Development

Three types of approaches to the issue of the impact of father involvement on children's social, emotional, and cognitive development can be distinguished. First, in a modern variant of the earlier father-absence theme, sociologists, in particular, have recently examined the impact of nonresident fathers' frequency and quality of contact on children's development. In contrast to this paternal deprivation approach, a second strategy examines the impact of paternal enhancement. This approach asks about the lessons learned from focusing on unusually highly involved fathers, such as occurs in role-sharing and reversed-role families. The third or normative approach focuses on the consequences of the quality and the quantity of father-child interaction on children's development in intact families. Impact of normal variations in intact families on children's development. A voluminous literature has emerged over the past three decades that clearly demonstrates relations between quality of...

Relationship pathways

Each relationship is different.The relationships your grandchildren have with their parents are different from the relationships they form with you. A child who had a negative relationship with a parent may have a positive, fulfilling relationship with a grandparent. Other children may be in more or less challenging situations. Both negative and positive relationships affect a child's expectations for future relationships.

What Real Moms Can Learn from This Story

Cindy was determined to maintain a balance in her life. Of course she loved her children and wanted the best for them. But she knew that her children would suffer if she continued to pressure them with more and more activities and requirements, a high-performance regime dictated largely by external expectations. She also knew that for her to be the best possible mom she could be, it was crucial for her to maintain her own health, strength, and endurance to have a fulfilling relationship with her husband, Brad and to develop her own creativity and skills in the workplace.

How will having a baby affect our relationship as a couple

Before you can ever figure out how to share the responsibilities of parenting, you need to understand the complex shifts in your relationship that occur when your baby is born. Babies are very demanding creatures they have to be, since they depend on their parents for absolutely everything. And as parents, we find ourselves willing to make huge sacrifices to give up sleep, uninterrupted conversation, romantic evenings to ensure the welfare of our children. It's important to realize that time for your relationship won't happen without some preparation. But while you have to work a little harder for those special times together, it's worth the effort. It's very important to you and to your relationship as a couple. It's important to your baby, too, because his sense of security depends on the stability of your relationship. So, somehow, some way, you have to find time to be a couple as well as parents. This might not happen during the first three months, but it is important as soon as...

Four Steps to Restoring a Healthy and Loving Relationship with Your Child

Here are a few ideas to help you get started in making a healthy and loving relationship become a reality. Your goal is to reestablish a relationship with your child. Eventually you can dream of spending a happy weekend together. At the present you want to reopen your relationship and get him to open up for a minute or two longer. So think brief no lectures get real.

Facing Your Own Bad Attitudes

Next, seriously reflect on your relationship with your kid. Is it really based on mutual respect Could the state of your relationship have anything to do with his sassy, disrespectful tone How would he describe your relationship For example, would he say it is honest, open, trusting, loving, or relaxed Or would he say it's strained, closed, or stressful Why If your relationship is strained, what can you do to rebuild and reconnect with your kid And what are you really willing to commit to doing to remedy any rift if it exists between the two of you

The relationship between you and your grandchild

The new relationship between you and your grandchild can be difficult. You are not the parent,and you may not feel like a grandparent either. Both you and your grandchild may have to make an effort to understand new and different roles and rules for your relationship.The relationship each of you has with the child's parents may complicate the situation, and may require a lot of work and patience.

Emergency Attitude

Decide which issues really matter and are worth fighting over and which you can let slide for the time being. One of our biggest problems as parents is feeling overwhelmed with all the different issues and conflicts going on with our defiant kids. Right now, your child is probably not doing anything you want him to do. By getting him to comply with one just crucial thing, you're starting on the right path toward a big attitude change. For a younger child, playing without hitting might be your important goal, and picking up all her toys isn't as vital right now. For an older kid, completing homework might be the essential task, while making his bed isn't such a big deal after all.The key is to pick your battles wisely by choosing ones that are most crucial. Then stick to those, and let go of the others for now. Once your kid starts complying, you can gradually add more requests. Meanwhile, you'll save your sanity, your household harmony, and your relationship with your child, and you...

You and your caregiver

Talk things over with your caregiver regularly, no matter what kind of care your child is in. Lack of communication can often lead to a build-up of tensions and affect how you feel about your child's care. Make sure your expectations are clearly understood. Discuss exactly what the job will require and what you expect of each other. Speaking frankly from the start of your relationship is important. Ask questions, share information often, and be available to discuss your child.

Starting Off on the Right Foot

Set a probationary or trial period so you and your caregiver have a chance to see if your relationship will work out. Arrange opportunities to talk informally about how things seem to be going. If you are working with an agency, you'll probably tie your probationary period to the agency's refund replacement policy. If you've hired a caregiver on your own, consider a 30- or 60-day trial period.

Whats Wrong With Your Current Response

Manipulative kids are great at recognizing what works so the manipulated parent gives up and once again they get their way. So what has your kid learned about you How is he able to push your buttons so you finally acquiesce Does he play on your impatience Your desire to pump up his confidence Has he learned your weakness for his self-pity, his charm, or his posture of helplessness Might it be that he can recognize when you're on overload if he keeps it up a little longer, he figures he'll just wear you out You just don't have the energy to deal with it Or do you believe him (or want to believe him) Could it be that you want to save face before he pulls his antics in front of others You're afraid you'll harm his self-esteem You don't think it's worth jeopardizing your relationship with your kid

Individual Factors

Men's attitudes, motivation, and skills. Paternal attitudes, motivation, skills and personality are important determinants of father involvement (Jain et al., 1996 Lamb, 1987 Lamb et al., 1987). There has been a considerable body of research concerning the relation between gender-role attitudes and paternal involvement. Gender-role attitudes are usually indexed by scales measuring masculinity, femininity, and androgyny. In spite of the early promise of laboratory studies, which showed a link between men's higher scores on the traditional femininity scale of the Bem Sex Role Inventory and their tendencies to engage in parenting behavior (e.g., interact with a baby), there has been less support for this position in studies of fathers' involvement with their own children. Russell (1983), in his work on shared-caregiving families in Australia, found that these fathers in comparison with fathers in traditional families were higher on femininity. Moreover, compared with those in traditional...

Secrets

Some families pretend to the world - and themselves - that they are normal. They gloss over or minimise their own or their children's problems. They deny marital difficulties - 'It's none of their business' - or schoolwork problems - 'The teacher has a problem.' Although parents want to protect their child, their actions proclaim, 'I must protect you because you have problems'. Children aren't stupid they identify the cover-up message and, as always, blame themselves, which lowers their self-confidence even further. If parents say, 'We deal with our problems at home', it teaches children to remain silent about problems, even bullying.

Relationship Strong

It has to be something your child enjoys. (Whether or not you enjoy it is a side issue.) It can be brief a walk to the park, getting an ice cream cone. This is not about spending money and buying your relationship. Don't get tricked into that concept give your child your time, not stuff. The key to the outing is for you to stay positive. Listen. Appear to genuinely enjoy or look interested in your child's world. Neutral spots are best for tougher talks the mall, the park, a sports field.

Other conditions

On the following page you'll find a simply worded, sample work agreement that might be particularly useful for a live-out caregiver, but could be used for any inhome caregiver. The words you choose to use in your agreement will depend on your relationship with your caregiver and your own personal style. Some families who are employing a caregiver to live in their homes prefer a more formally worded document that details the specifics of their arrangement.

Unit of Analysis

Another aspect of the unit of analysis issue concerns the focus on variables versus individuals. As Magnusson and Cairns (1996, p. 25) have noted most analyses of behavior have been variable-oriented rather than person-oriented. Instead of focusing on a variable approach in which the goal is to examine relations among variables, Magnusson andBergmann (1990) advocate a person oriented approach in which questions are posed in terms of individuals and their profiles. Jain et al. (1996) recently applied this person-oriented approach to the description of types of fathers in intact families. Clusters of four types of fathers emerged caretakers, playmates-teachers, disciplinarians and disengaged fathers. Moreover, the first two types of fathers were more educated, had more prestigious occupations, were less neurotic, had more confidence in the dependability of others and experienced fewer daily hassles than the disciplinarian and disengaged father types. This person-oriented approach to the...

Improving Your Marriage To Newlyweds Again

Improving Your Marriage To Newlyweds Again

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