How To Develop Emotional Intelligence
There are three steps to building emotional intelligence 1. Help your child learn an emotional vocabulary. In order for kids to be sensitive, they need to be able to read the feelings of others. To do so, they must have an adequate emotional vocabulary.To develop your child's emotional intelligence, teach him feeling words such as in the list that follows. Consider using a different feeling word each day or a new word each week.
The Heart of Parenting Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, by John Gottman, with Joan deClaire (New York Simon & Schuster, 1997). A renowned psychologist teaches you the five steps of Emotion Coaching not only to help you tune in to your children's emotional needs but also to help kids become better at soothing themselves when they are upset.
Help your kids develop emotional intelligence about themselves and others. Comment on the evident feelings of people around you and characters in stories. Joey is crying he must be feeling sad. Why do you think Maria is laughing Comment on your child's feelings and encourage him or her to express them. Help with simple terms for complex feelings for example, when my 3-year-old was obviously feeling ambivalent, I talked about her seeming to have mixed-up feelings. Also, keep communications clear by commenting on the feelings underlying a statement or an action. For example, if your child says, I hate you answer, Wow You are really mad at me, aren't you
Later.' Bullies are often more likely to have a criminal record by the time of their mid-twenties, more likely to bash their wives and abuse their children. See Estroff Marano, Hara, 'Big. Bad. Bully', Psychology Today, 28, 5, Sept. Oct. 1995. Young bullies have a one-in-four chance of having a criminal record by age 30 (Huesmann, L.R., Eron, L.D., Lefkowitz, M.M. and Walder, L.O., 'Stability of aggression over time and generations', Developmental Psychology (20) 1120-1134, 1984). Daniel Goleman (author ofEmotional Intelligence), writing in the American Psychology Association Monitor, October 1998, discussed the need for children to develop emotional intelligence. This includes being aware of their own feelings, handling distressing emotions, motivating themselves towards achievement, understanding emotions in others, and possessing basic social skills. Children who do not learn these skills are 'more likely to be the schoolyard bullies or the schoolyard rejects'.
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