Although the nonreligious outpace the religious in vol-unteerism once church maintenance volunteering is eliminated,2 when it comes to actual giving of actual money, there's no contest The religious have us licked. Regular churchgoers are more likely than secularists to donate money (91 percent versus 66 percent).3 Obviously, there will be notable exceptions three of the top four philanthropists worldwide are atheists or agnostics4 but the overall picture of giving by secular individuals needs improvement. 3. Build community. The nonreligious to date have been miserable at forming genuine community. We fret and fuss over the urgent need for more rationality in the world, completely ignoring more basic human needs like unconditional acceptance. Most people do not go to church for theology they go for acceptance. They go to be surrounded by people who smile at them and are nice to them, who ask how their kids are and whether that back injury is still hurting. Until we...
As a junior in high school, our friend Pace decided to go to a different church than her parents. With a great deal of wisdom, her parents let her go. That time was a real turning point for Pace. She was discovering truth on her own, and her faith had that much more meaning because she was doing the choosing.
One day I realized that as my kids got older home life was getting tougher than ever to balance. More activities. More schedules. More carpools. And more financial strains. So I finally decided to set a new house rule only one extra activity per semester, whether it's band, soccer, art, chess, or dance. So every semester I hold individual appointments with each of my children. They choose the one activity they really want to do and pledge to stick with it (and practice) for the coming months. I even make the older ones sign a contract. Some activities are nonnegotiable (such as the youth church group or tutoring if needed).
Encourage the parents to use examples from the media, school, church, workplace, and community to engage their children in a discussion of behavior that does and does not reflect the values of integrity and moral courage. 23. Encourage the parents to invite their children to discuss moral dilemmas they have encountered or wondered about from their experiences at home, school, church, or in the neighborhood. 16. Volunteer for an outreach project at school, church, or in the community. (34, 35) 34. Assign the parents to select a church, family, or school project to participate in with their children to demonstrate and experience the value of giving back to the community. 35. Counsel the parents to insist that the children volunteer for outreach projects at school or church and ask them to emphasize the personal benefits received from giving time and effort to others.
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him or her who receives it. At Daystar we talk a lot about gratitude. As we finish this book, our gratitude is overflowing for a group of folks who have been a part of this process with us. Don Pape has been our agent and literary superhero. Sandy VanderZicht is an editor who has challenged us with her kindness and encouraged us with her wisdom. Mimi Heldman has heard our stories, read our drafts, and reminded us of the depth and playfulness bound up in the heart of a girl. Pace Verner has lightened our load with her laughter and been a kind companion along the way. David Thomas, Betsy Cashman, Jeremy Shapiro, Pat McCurdy, Julia Groos, and the Daystar Board have been a steady source of compassionate support throughout this writing process. We have shared meals and girlhood tales...
Take this list of words and talk about their meaning to you and your partner. See if you and your partner can agree on (1) which words both of you could use with your children, (2) which are too loaded to use, and (3) which you could create your own family meaning for. Sample words altar, amen, awe, baptize, bible, blessing, benediction, born again, Christ, communion, church, confession, covenant, crucifixion, devil, divine, enlightenment, evil faith, God, gospel, grace, heaven, hell, holy, Holy Spirit, Holy Ghost, Jehovah, Jesus, Lord, miracle, mystery, original sin, pray, prayer, predestination, priest, prophecy, prophet, redemption, resurrection, revelation, sacrament, sacred, salvation, saved, savior, sin, son of God, spirit, spiritual, spirituality, temple, testament.
Many libraries, churches, and community centers offer after-school activities for children. And many middle Maybe your local community center offers afternoon classes in art or music, drama or computer, or some other subject that interests your child. A couple of afternoons a week, your child could go to the library after school to study and do homework. Some local libraries offer interesting programs and homework assistance for school-age children in the afternoon. Maybe the church or temple in your neighborhood has afternoon activities going on for kids after school. Libraries, churches, and community centers often run school-vacation programs for children as well.
Your young child should discover that contributing to the welfare of others has many personal rewards. For one thing, helping others is a critical aspect of a person's self-esteem. Serving the needs of your infant and young child makes you feel better about yourself as a parent. Your child has similar feelings. Teach your child that by helping Mommy or Daddy in a million ways every day (hugging, cooperating, loving, etc.) he makes you feel better. This will help him feel better about himself. This reciprocal relationship of giving and getting, receiving and loving back is what builds the positive relationship between parents and their children and people and their communities. This giving and receiving is an important key to one's self-esteem and the reason that helping others feels so good. Teach your child by modeling giving behavior (to your church, synagogue, community center, neighbors, etc.). Teach your child how good a person feels when you experience helping and then receiving...
Consider taking part in a Unitarian Universalist Church where all belief traditions are honored and respected, and your family can start its own traditions. This denomination is creedless and allows for people to come together in community for social action and for thoughts on how to live an ethical life. The church is based on seven Purposes and Principles, which are the following
When your child has an assignment to report on a current event, go online and find stories about current church state issues or the Boy Scouts' exclusionary policies. Read and talk about them with your family. By way of contrast, research Spiral Scouts and talk about their basic principles (www .SpiralScouts.org).
Molleen Matsumura has been a humanist activist and writer for over twenty years. She has worked to defend reproductive freedom, separation of religion and government, evolution education, and marriage equality. Her writing has appeared in Free Inquiry, New Humanist (UK), Humanistic Judaism, and Reports of the National Center for Science Education, among other publications. Molleen has been a project director for the National Center for Science Education and currently serves on the advisory boards of the Secular Student Alliance and Americans United for Separation of Church and State. She writes the humanist advice column, Sweet Reason some past columns can be found at www.sweetreason.org or in the Parenting section of the website of the Institute for Humanist Studies (www.humanist studies.org).
Eight hundred years ago, Fredrick II, who was the Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, created an experiment in which he wanted to find out which language children would speak naturally or on their own (Stone and Church, 1957). He ordered that a group of babies be taken from their mothers and cared for by foster mothers and nurses. These caregivers were told to feed, bathe, and see to the needs of these children, but no one was to speak to these children at all, in any language. He apparently wondered which of the great languages the babies would naturally speak Hebrew, Greek, Latin, Arabic, or the language of their parents to whom they were born. Of course, Frederick never found out which language the children would have spoken. Sadly, his experiment resulted in the death of all the babies because of the lack of appropriate mothering. The babies were not able to live without being touched, seeing smiles and changes of emotion, and hearing the loving, soothing words of a mother. The...
Unfortunately, despite prevention and education, girls will most likely still be mean. Your daughter will still be hurt. This is where we return to your role. Give her a safe place to come home where she feels unconditionally liked and loved. When she can't say it with words, watch for signs that she is hurting stomachaches before school, shyness around certain kids, headaches after church.
Genetics also play a part in how much your child weighs. If you and your partner come from Charlotte Church Danny de Vito stock, it's unlikely your offspring will grow up looking like Kate Moss. Look at your baby pictures. Were you all dimples and dumpling, or long and lean
When we were walking out of the church, Mrs. Parker, one of my old teachers gave us each a little bear. I was so depressed. Because of all my family had done together, we were like best friends. After the funeral we invited lots of people to celebrate what a great person Dad was.