Although over time your relationship with your caregiver could develop into a friendship, remember that your roles in relation to each other are primarily professional. She may not want to hear about certain aspects of your personal life, and you may prefer not to be her confidante, either. You will have to work out a level of relationship that is comfortable for both of you, but the best relationship will probably balance warmth and caring with professional distance.
In the final analysis, good communication can head off or solve many of the problems that may arise. If you and your children are generally pleased with your caregiver, it will be well worth the time and effort to straighten out relatively minor difficulties.
The situation you now find yourself in will vary, depending on the sort of caregiver you have chosen. But whether your caregiver is an older woman who goes home to her family every night, a local college student, a young man or woman from another part of the country, or an au pair from Europe, you have chosen her carefully, and you deserve to sit back, comfortable in the knowledge that your children are in good hands. With mutual respect, hard work, and communication, having an in-home child caregiver can make your life as a working parent a little easier.
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Although nobody gets a parenting manual or bible in the delivery room, it is our duty as parents to try to make our kids as well rounded, happy and confident as possible. It is a lot easier to bring up great kids than it is to try and fix problems caused by bad parenting, when our kids have become adults. Our children are all individuals - they are not our property but people in their own right.