Reflect on how you typically respond to your child's cheat-ing.Think of the last time he cheated.What was the incident about? How did you find out he cheated? Did he know you knew, or did you discover his dishonesty another way? Did you confront him with his cheating? Did anyone else get involved? If so, how? Did you ask why he cheated? What did he say? Did you believe him? How did you respond? What was his response back to you? Did he seem remorseful or guilty? Did you share your views as to why cheating is wrong? Why or why not? Did your kid buy into your views? Was your kid held accountable for his cheating? Were any consequences set, and if so, were they enforced? A key question is whether your response helped alter his attitude. In hindsight, would you have done anything differently in your response? If so, what? Why would you have made the change?
Next, get behind the reason your kid may be cheating. Could it be that he is afraid of your response? For example, some kids cheat because they do not want to let their parents down and disappoint them with a poor grade or score.Worse yet, some kids fear they will be a disappointment to their mom or dad. Could your response be stoking your kid to cheat? If so, how will you alter your attitude so your kid doesn't feel his score or grade is more important to you than his character?
What is one response that you've tried over and over again and it just hasn't worked? For example, have you threatened your kid with a consequence that was never carried through? Have you said,"Just one more time and I'll ..."? Have you given a lecture or demanded writing "I will not cheat" one hundred times? Write out the one response you will never make again.
I will not_
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