Research reveals that when it comes to cheating, kids are pressured big time by peers. Cheating in school has reached sophisticated new levels. Gone are the days when students tucked meticulously written crib notes inside their pants legs and coughed specially designed codes to peers. Pagers and cell phone text mail messages instantly transmit test answers without the hassle of note passing (and getting caught!).A growing crop of Web sites such as schoolsucks.com provide term papers on any subject for a few bucks. Find out how pressured your kid feels by asking straight out: "Have you been in a situation when other kids want you to cheat or give them answers? What did you do?"Also, try to determine just how prevalent cheating is among your kid's peers: "Do kids cheat in your class? How? What does the teacher do? What happens if they get caught?"
Your child will need more than just a talk to say no.The best way to help her stand up to peer pressure is by teaching her a few assertive strategies such as the ones that follow. Just make sure you help her rehearse them over and over until she can confidently use them on his own.
Peer pressures facing today's kids are enormous. Of course, we always hope that our kids will be able to say no to such negative influences. Doing so is often difficult because such choices are not always popular with their peers.The truth is that it takes real moral strength not to be influenced by others.We must help our children develop the inner strength of character needed to buffer negative pressures and then teach them specific skills of assertive-ness. Only then will they be able to stand up to their peers.
• Assert yourself with confidence. Teach your kid to stand up for his beliefs and not back down. Show him how to use confident posture: stand tall with feet slightly apart, hold his head high, and look the person straight in the eye. Emphasize that the posture he uses to deliver his lines is usually more important than the words he says.
• Say no firmly. Stress that he must say no to the person using a friendly but firm and determined voice. Then he must not give in. Remind your child that his job is not to try changing the other person's mind, but to keep himself out of trouble and follow his beliefs.
• Repeat your decision. Tell your child it's sometimes helpful to repeat his decision several times like a broken record: "No, it's not right. No, it's not right." It makes him sound assertive and helps him not back down from his stand.
• Tell reasons why. Thinking about the possible consequences of the choice helps strengthen kids' convictions not to proceed with what they're asked to do. So tell your kid to give the person the reason he's saying no: "It's not right." " I'll be grounded." "I worked too hard to give you my paper."
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