At a time when both you and your child are calm, explain that from this point on, you expect her compliance with your requests. Be very clear so that there can be no doubt what you mean.You might say: "If I sound serious or say 'I'm serious,' I mean it."Then make sure your kid clearly knows your "serious tone" by modeling it. Explain that if she doesn't do what you ask, there will be a consequence. (Review Step 4 so you can tell your child what the consequence is if noncompliance continues.) You might even consider letting your child partic ipate in creating her own consequence. Just remember that you don't have to agree to her suggestions; it's a way to involve her in the process. To make sure she understands your agreement, have her repeat what you said.You might even put the consequence in writing, and then have your kid sign it so there's absolutely no doubt.A young kid can draw the contract. Put it in a safe place so you can rely on it later if needed.
In case your child really does have a genuine reason for not complying with your request (the possibility does exist), hear her out but demand respect.You might say,"If you really have a legitimate excuse why you can't do what I'm asking, please tell me right now. Maybe you have a spelling test the next day and need a reprieve from your chores so you can study. But you must tell me your reason in a respectful tone." To be clear your child knows what kind of tone you require, model it to her. She needs to understand that you won't be granting too many reprieves. There really should be a very good reason for her not to do what you ask.
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