Step Identify the Cause

Here are a few of the most common causes ofjealousy. Check the ones that may apply to your child:

□ She may need more attention. Do you favor a sibling, or does she feel that you do? Are there other relationships or commitments that may interfere with your time with her?

□ She feels insecure. Does she lack confidence or self-assuredness?

□ She wants peer approval. Does she lack friends? Does she feel the way to gain entry or be popular is to be like others?

□ She feels the need to compete. Is competitiveness (for grades, scores, popularity, status) emphasized in your home? Does she feel she must compete against others to gain your approval?

□ She craves the latest material possessions. Does she feel that certain possessions are absolutely necessary to maintain status among peers?

□ She is compensating for a lack of control. Has something happened at home that she can do nothing about (a divorce, an illness, a financial setback)?

□ She lacks self-esteem. Is she jealous of another child's abilities, appearance, or qualities because she feels she isn't worthy, lovable, or likeable? Is she constantly compared to others and realizes she can never make the grade?

□ She feels things aren't fair. Is one sibling treated differently? Is she experiencing harsher treatment? Are standards and expectations unequal? Is she correct in her view? Does a parent or teacher always come to the other child's defense and not hers?

Identifying the specific source of your kid's jealous attitude will help greatly in turning it around.

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