The critical part of disciplining a child who is flaunting a mean attitude is to help her understand how her actions affected the other person. Unless she learns to consider the other person's feelings and needs and recognize the discomfort or hurt her unkindness caused the recipient, the attitude is likely to continue. Here are a few questions that help kids reflect on the impact their unkind actions had on their victim's feelings:
"Can you see how upset Juan is? How did your attitude make him feel?"
"See, you embarrassed her.What do you say to her now?" "What if someone said that to you?"
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Although nobody gets a parenting manual or bible in the delivery room, it is our duty as parents to try to make our kids as well rounded, happy and confident as possible. It is a lot easier to bring up great kids than it is to try and fix problems caused by bad parenting, when our kids have become adults. Our children are all individuals - they are not our property but people in their own right.