Step Get to the Real Purpose of the Attitude

There are two parts to the next makeover step. First, you must discover what's really behind your kid's manipulative attitude and why she needs to be deceptive.The best way to figure this out is by reviewing which boxes you checked in Step 1. Next, ask yourself if there is any pattern.There are many reasons kids are manipulative, but the usual cause is to escape from something unpleasant. Another possibility is that the child is just plain selfish and manipulates others to get what she wants. Check possibilities that apply to your kid:

□ Avoiding humiliation. She is saving face from possible failure or embarrassment.

□ Fear of jeopardizing a relationship. She is concerned about her image with peers.

□ Avoiding punishment. She is escaping possible punishment if her actions are discovered.

□ Not wanting to lose approval. She is afraid of losing the approval or love of someone she cares about.

□ Authentic lack of skills and experience. You've been doing so much for this little sucker that now she hasn't the ability to do it on her own.

□ Insecurity, fear, or anxiety. The situation causes her anxiety, so she is avoiding it.

□ Avoiding responsibility. She is avoiding taking responsibility or being accountable for her actions.

□ Not wanting to work. She is avoiding work, chores, or practice that she doesn't want to do.

□ Being selfish. This is the way to get what he wants or have things go his way.

Compare your notes with others who know your kid well, and then write down your best guess as to the real purpose of her deceptive attitude.You will use it in the next step. Meanwhile, from this moment on, any time your kid tries to sway you with this or any other manipulative tactic, immediately stop her in her tracks. That means in public as well as in your home. The next step shows you how. Her attitude cannot be allowed for any reason.

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