One thing is clear: it's up to us.We must take immediate action, or there will be disastrous long-term effects on our children's potential for happiness and fulfillment. Here are ten outcomes that could happen if we don't make an emergency intervention and allow our kids to hold on to those bad attitudes.
Undermine Character. Character determines your child's reputation as a human being.Virtues like kindness, empathy, respect, tolerance, perseverance, fairness, and honesty form our children's character, beliefs, and attitudes. Bad attitudes comprise all those vices that counter solid character development: disrespect, insensitivity, rudeness, laziness, meanness, and more. Ridding your kid of his bad attitude makes room for those essential virtues to blossom and increases the likelihood of his developing strong character.
Hinder Social Relationships. Well-liked kids are fun to be around. They are good team players, share, encourage, respect differences, and listen openly. They are also fair, respectful, and enjoyable. Kids with attitudes are just the opposite. More often than not, they are poor sports, disrespectful, gossipy, and unforgiving. As a result, they are also more likely to be picked last for the team, play group, or even as friends.
Destroy Reputations. Think about it: kids don't like to be around peers who are rude and demanding, and neither do adults. Bad attitudes can doom a kid's reputation, and rebuilding it is very tough. It's one more reason that we need to curb their attitudes.
Foster Poor Money Management. Overindulged kids are usually given what they want, and they don't worry about saving or have little time to learn money management skills. Now think of these kids as adults: their economic future is rather bleak unless, of course, their parents continue to provide huge allowances. Is that your plan?
Make the Kids Less Happy. The latest research suggests that kids who are indulged and "have it all" are actually less likely to be happy. They are also more likely to be bored, less enthusiastic, and less likely to be able to derive pleasure from their activities.
Create Weaker Coping Skills. Spoiled kids have their every desire catered to, and as a result they are less able to cope with stress. So how will they learn to deal with life's inevitable frustrations and setbacks? By always rescuing kids, we actually do them a huge disservice: we rob them of learning how to cope. And in today's uncertain world, it may well be one of the most important traits our kids learn.
Destroy Authentic Self-Esteem. A big mistake is thinking that by catering to our kids' desire, we boost their self-esteem. As we've seen, research tells us the opposite: parents who are less permissive and provide clear guidelines and expectations tend to raise kids with higher self-esteem. Kids with positive self-esteem measure their worth based on who they are and what they are capable of, not what they have and who can do it for them. An interesting note is that a recent survey found that nearly two out of three parents felt their children measure their self-worth more by possessions than they themselves did at the same age.
Make Kids Less Compassionate. When you've grown to think the world revolves around you, it's tough to consider other people's concerns and feelings. And slowly those inconsiderate, insensitive attitudes vaporize our kid's warm-hearted or empathic feelings toward others.
Erode Parent-Kid Relations. How often have you had to deal with your kid's bad attitude lately? Chances are these conflicts have not been very positive. Now add up all those times you've had to reprimand your child for her attitude. Each negative encounter slowly erodes our relationship with our kids. It is one more reason that we need to curb their bad attitudes so we can spend our together time building positive and loving relationships instead.
Ruin Family Harmony. Bad attitudes can be damaging to a family atmosphere. After all, negativity breeds, and the kid's insults, demands, and plain disrespect can slowly erode family harmony as well as sibling relationships.
The ramifications of a bad attitude are dangerous.The biggest reason kids learned those bad attitudes is that we allowed it. Now it's time to let them know the jig is up, and we're going to help them make some huge changes. So get ready: it's time for a serious attitude makeover!
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