Part Three Beyond the Crisis

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References 409 About the Author 417



To the folks at Jossey-Bass for your incredible support on all four of the books we've worked together on: it has been an absolute pleasure working with such a professional and dedicated publishing team. Most especially I thank Alan Rinzler, undoubtedly the best editor in the business.You have no idea how lucky an author is to work with such an extraordinary wordsmith. I send him thanks for so many things: for helping me cultivate the idea, formatting ideas, his unceasing dedication to producing only the best, and supporting each and every step along the way. Every author should be so blessed to have such an editor.Thank you,Alan; again, it's has been an honor. Special thanks go to Debra Hunter, Paul Foster, Jennifer Wenzel, Sachie Jones, Karen Warner, Seth Schwartz, Carol Hartland, Beverly Miller, and Paula Goldstein. Heartfelt appreciation to Jennifer Wenzel for endless support, brilliant marketing, and limitless creativity.

To all the folks in the Wiley office in New York, especially to the publicity department and one great dynamo, Ellen Silberman. Thanks not only for your hard work, tenacity, and energy, but also your personalized touches (I finally know how to catch a New York cab). Huge gratitude also goes to the Canadian Wiley group, especially Meghan Brousseau and Jamie Broadhurst. Making the jaunts to Toronto and Vancouver is always something I look forward to. I know that not only will the publicity campaigns be top notch but so enjoyable because I get to spend time with these great dedicated folks.

I extend special gratitude to the staff of Parents magazine, especially senior editor Diane Debrovner, for the honor of serving on your advisory board but also the privilege of speaking with many of your writers about several attitudes presented in this book.These women not only were enjoyable, but their pointed queries about kid attitudes helped me enormously in thinking through the steps to stop them. In particular, I thank Vicky Mlyniec (helpfulness, cruelty, and every other parenting topic); Diane Benson Harrington (manipulative, defiant); Leslie Lampert (the 21-day makeover plan and "drama queens"); Pam Kramer (bad-tempered);Winnie Yu (demanding and controlling); Deb Waldman (fresh); and Susan Brody (annoying behaviors). I also thank reporters Katy Kelly ("trophy parenting"),Andrea Atkins (out-of-control behavior), and Jane Clifford (character development) and most especially Charlotte Latlava (discipline 101) and Francesca Donlan ("everything!") for their usual superb suggestions, fabulous interviews, and ongoing encouragement.

Huge appreciation is also sent to a few loyal, dedicated professionals who have always been there for me and have become such personal friends: especially Annie Leedom, president of, for her wonderful steadfast friendship, continual optimism, and most appreciated encouragement: you're loved,Annie. Anybody looking for the absolute best Internet publicity campaigns need search no further than Anne Leedom. I also thank Adrienne Biggs of Biggs Publicity for her continual support and creative ways of acquiring great publicity leads that somehow always turn golden, and Steve Leedom, of, for creating my gorgeous Web site,, and being so available to talk me through the most annoying computer glitches.Thanks also to Celia Rock and Dottie DeHart of the world's best publicity agency, Rocks-DeHart Public Relations, for fabulous ideas and incredible campaigns. Special, special thanks to Dottie DeHart.Wow, does she know publicity! Thank you for giving so generously of your time, resources, and yourself these past five years. I also extend enormous amounts of gratitude to the best agent in the business, Joelle DelBourgo. Every writer should have this woman in her corner. Joelle, it's a pleasure!

Finally, hugs to my own personal "ya-ya" group—Barbara Keane, Patty Service,Judy Baggott, and Bonnie Englund—for the nonstop laughs and giggles. Special appreciation to Andy Keane and Kathy and Jake Been for ideas on curbing know-it-alls and smart alecks.And most especially I thank the ones who have made the biggest difference in my life and on my own attitudes, my family. Deepest love to my husband, best friend, and continuous supporter, Craig; my extraordinarily amazing parents, Dan and Treva Ungaro; and my wonderful mother-in-law, Lorayne Borba.And to the three greatest, good-looking, funniest, and best-attitude kids around, my sons: Jason,Adam, and Zach.Thanks for the joy and the laughter you bring. It's an absolute honor being your mom.

To Alan Rinzler, A more skilled, supportive, and knowledgeable editor I could not imagine. From a most appreciative author.

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