Reflect on your own childhood. Did you think of yourself as a critical or constructive kind of person? Did you use words to get even, express anger, or put down others in a spiteful or arrogant way? How did your parents respond? Did it help curb your bad attitude?
How about now? Judgmental attitudes are learned.Your kid forms much of his attitude from absorbing and mimicking others.Tune into the kinds of language used in your family. Are the interactions on the whole more positive or negative? Would your family assess your household atmosphere as warm, accepting, and positive or more critical and negative? Take an honest look at family members to make sure that isn't the source.What about his friends? Neighbors? Cousins? TV? Peers? Music? Coach?
Now make a serious appraisal of your attitude and what you might be modeling to your kid. For instance, do others think of you as more affirmative or more critical? Are you moody? Occasionally cranky or hostile? Do you tend to see the good or the bad things in people? How often do you verbalize those critical messages to your kids? On the whole, do you say more positive or negative comments? What about how you interact with your kids on a day-to-day basis? Do you typically dish out more criticism or praise? Would your kids agree with your estimation?
It's time to make a commitment to replace your kid's negativity, and the starting place is by changing your own behavior.What is the first step you need to take in yourself to be a better example to your sons or daughters in dealing with their negative behavior? Write down changes you need to make.
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Although nobody gets a parenting manual or bible in the delivery room, it is our duty as parents to try to make our kids as well rounded, happy and confident as possible. It is a lot easier to bring up great kids than it is to try and fix problems caused by bad parenting, when our kids have become adults. Our children are all individuals - they are not our property but people in their own right.