Diagnosis

There are many reasons that kids are demanding, constantly interrupt, and want their way. Answering these next questions will help you pinpoint exactly what troubles you and better understand why he is resorting to this attitude.

Why. What do you think is the root cause in the way your family works or doesn't work that motivates this behavior? Or has he just learned that using the behavior is the best way to get his way? Does he need to control others? If so, why? Might he be legitimately needing your attention? Is he jealous? Are his needs frequently unmet? Are family members listening to him? Is life so hectic that she is being overlooked? Sure, demanding kids are irritating, but they may be using that behavior because their own basic needs of being appreciated and heard are not being met. Of course, he may also be demanding because he is self-centered and considers only his own feelings and needs.

What. Are there particular issues or things he usually demands? Is this about wanting stuff, not being listened to, needing more attention and privileges, or something else? Also, what has your kid learned from being demanding?

Who. Does he display the same demanding behavior to everyone? Only to his siblings or younger kids? Are there some individuals he does not use his demanding ways on? If so, who? Why not?

When. Is there a particular time of day, week, or month he is more demanding? Is there a reason? For instance, might he be tired, hungry, or needing attention? Is she with a group of kids who don't listen to her needs? Is she the oldest kid on the team and can bully her way around?

Where. Are there certain places he is more likely to be demanding (at school or day care, home, the store, Grandma's)? Why?

Now review your answers. Talk to others who know your kid well. Are you seeing any predictable patterns? Do you have any better understanding of this attitude and where it's coming from?

Moral Manifesto

Moral Manifesto

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