Diagnosis

Being unhelpful doesn't happen all by itself. Here are some questions to ask to find out where this bad attitude is coming from.

Why. Why does your kid have this attitude? Is he not expected to help out? Has someone always rescued or excused her from household duties? Have good grades or violin or swimming or something else been prioritized over helpfulness? Has no one ever taught him how to do basic household chores? Where did she get this notion that she's a prima donna and does not have to lift a hand?

What. Are there particular issues he is more unhelpful about? For instance: Laundry? Her bedroom? Pets? Siblings? Are there any jobs your kid does willingly?

Who. Does he display the same unhelpful behavior to everyone? Are there some individuals he does not use this attitude on and is more helpful with? If so, who?

When. Is there a particular time of day, week, or month when he is less helpful? Is there a reason? For instance, might his schedule be too crammed? Is he tired? Is there friction with another person?

Where. Are there certain places he is more likely to be unhelpful (at school or day care, in your yard, inside the home, at Grandma's)? Why?

Now take a look at your answers.Are you seeing any predictable patterns? Do you have any better understanding of your kid's unhelpful attitude and where it's coming from?

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