Consider how your child has become so insensitive. For instance, have people treated him insensitively? Does he understand that his attitude is hurting other people's feelings? Of course, there are other reasons kids might be insensitive, so answer the following Five W's of Attitude Awareness to help you figure out what's going on.
Why. Why does your kid have this attitude? Have people been insensitive to him? Have you or others had an insensitive attitude toward him? Are feelings not acknowledged or expressed in your home? Is "Boys Don't Cry" or "Girls Talk to Their Friends" the motto in your house? Have you been concerned about your child's emotional intelligence, that is, his ability to read other people's feelings and his own? Has he been angry or depressed lately? Is he burned out? What's going on with him at school or in his social life? Is he numb from the stress of world events, or could he be reacting to a crisis in his own world like divorce, death, or illness? Is there any trauma going on in his life? Is there anything he is gaining from this insensitive attitude? This one is critical. He has an attitude because it works for him at this moment. What has your kid gained from being insensitive? Does he need the distance and safety of insensitivity to guard himself from pain? For example, some really sensitive kids are forced to "numb out" as a way of defending themselves from vicious teasing and bullying at home or in school.
What. Are there particular issues or things about which he usually is more insensitive? Does he talk frequently about how people look, their ethnicity, age, gender, perceived intelligence, or ability?
Who. Does he display the same insensitive attitudes to everyone? Are there some individuals he is more sensitive toward? If so, who are they?
When. Is there a particular time of day, week, or month he is more insensitive? Is there a reason? For instance, might he be tired, hungry, or needing attention? Or is it when he doesn't get his way or feels slighted?
Where. Are there certain places he is more likely to be insensitive (at school or day care, home, the store, Grandpa's)? Why?
Now seriously review your answers. Do you have any better awareness of why your kid is insensitive and where this attitude is coming from?
Was this article helpful?
Although nobody gets a parenting manual or bible in the delivery room, it is our duty as parents to try to make our kids as well rounded, happy and confident as possible. It is a lot easier to bring up great kids than it is to try and fix problems caused by bad parenting, when our kids have become adults. Our children are all individuals - they are not our property but people in their own right.