Friday, May 16, 2008

Haiku Friday

Haiku Friday

Travel with children,
The crying, boredom and tears,
requires tequila.

We left with four hours
plenty of time to get to
the flight to Cali.

Monkey complained of
a painful crick in her neck
crying the whole ride.

We got stuck halfway
twixt Jersey and vacation
I hate construction.

Two hours 'til take off
We can make it, no worries
"Mom? I don't feel good."

An hour thirty-ish
Still on the bridge not moving
bag under her mouth.

Calling airline fast
can they fly us out later
We aren't even close.

Horking in the back
as my daughter adds her own
spice to the journey.

Breakthrough on freeway!
We violate physics laws
as we race the clock.

Check in goes quickly
everyone is late today
stupid construction.

Through security
onto the plane just in time
pant never again.

Five days in Cali
Time on the beach with our friends
Totally worth it.


Find More Haiku's Here
Find more of my Haiku's Here

Thursday, May 15, 2008

To wear or not to wear, that is the question.

Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the occasional pains and backache of hefting a baby in a sling or carrier, or to endure the separation of stroller use, choosing a method of baby toting is something all parents have to do. That is, of course, unless you intend to never leave your house. So, in the realm of unasked for advice, I offer you my viewpoint on babywearing.

As indicated in my initial API post, I fell into attachment parenting by accident. It was not a carefully thought out parenting style, but more a response to my personal desires as a mother and the needs of my children. At my baby shower for my first child, I received the usual land-yacht sized stroller and a Baby Bjorn carrier. I also received a lovely handwoven sling from Guatemala. Oh, it was gorgeous. When Monkey arrived, I was eager to place her into the sling, but lacked the knowledge and confidence to tuck her into what amounted to a bolt of fabric tied around my body. Instead, I used the Baby Bjorn. After all, it had the appearance of something scientifically developed. It had straps, and latches, and padding! Clearly, it was safer than a simple piece of fabric held together with a knot!

The Bjorn kept Monkey close to me and it was ergonomically correct, but there was a great deal of material and padding between us, and it was unbelievably hot to wear in the summer, for both of us. It was also a lot of hassle to strap me, and then Monkey into it. Additionally, it was huge, and next to impossible to carry around without my car as I couldn’t fold it up and slip it into anything.

I tried to get Monkey into the sling after discovering the downsides to my baby wearing tool of choice, but by that time she was used to the Bjorn, and didn’t want anything to do with the sling. She just couldn’t get comfortable in it. I sold the lovely sling to a friend for her sister’s shower, and went looking for a cooler and more compact solution. Luckily I found a compact hip carrier from One Step Ahead. While it didn’t allow me to carry her on long hikes, as it rested her on my hip, it did allow me to hold her more often, and for longer periods of time, by allowing my arms to rest. It was also significantly cooler in hot weather. This was the tool I used until Monkey was about three. It slipped into my diaper bag, and later my purse, and allowed me some additional options when she was tired out and wanted a ride on Mommy.

It would be nearly six years before I had another baby, so I had plenty of time to study those instincts I had discovered with my first child and figure out ways to encourage them with my second. I looked into babywearing and discovered a number of benefits I hadn’t known about before. I learned that progesterone levels in mothers increase with physical contact with their babies, which increases the maternal bond between mother and child. I read that babies who are “worn” have a tendency to cry about 50% less than babies who aren’t. I learned that the sling, when worn correctly, can lower backache by more evenly distributing the baby’s weight. I discovered that slinging my baby would allow me to nurse on the go, and even tend to the needs of my eldest child with free hands. I also learned that baby wearing can help prevent hip dysplasia, by helping my child’s hip joints develop deeper sockets. I figured the least I could do was try to sling again when it came time to have Otter.

A good friend of mine made me a Ring Sling, and I put Otter in it within days of his birth. He stayed comfy in his sling. I wore him around the house, out in public, in the grocery store, the park, you name it. I was able to nurse him, even while walking around, because the sling positioned him perfectly for feeding and hid my breasts from view. I can’ tell you how many times I was able to prevent a meltdown during grocery shopping by nursing on the go. Best of all, I could still hold Monkey’s hand when we walked around, and I could play more with her because I had two hands free. I found other uses for the sling as well; I have used it as a last minute picnic blanket, a sunshade when driving in the summer or walking with the stroller, and to secure my baby into a chair as a makeshift high chair at restaurants (once he was old enough to sit on his own).

Otter still loves his sling. He is also a very cheerful, happy baby, who rarely cries. We have seen the benefits of slinging, and I will stick to it if I have any more children. Of course, Otter is over 30 pounds now, so I had to switch from a Ring Sling to a Mei Tai, in order to get some additional weight support when carrying him around. (The Mei Tai crosses over both shoulders, which is helpful in distributing the weight more evenly). The Mei Tai is still small enough to carry in a diaper bag, so I can have it whenever I need it, and it is still significantly cooler than the Baby Bjorn was. It also still allows for skin on skin contact, as there is no huge padded support structure between me and the baby. We have just started wearing Otter in the backpack position, and we both love it. I love feeling his little head snuggle into my back when we are walking, and he enjoys looking around and being close. We alternate between the sling and the mei tai now, depending on how much carrying there is likely to be.

So… To Wear!! That is my answer. Babywearing has turned me into a full-time snuggler, and I am happy to have my baby close whenever I can.


You can visit this post at API Speaks (Tune in tomorrow for our regularly scheduled Haiku Friday and hellish travel day story.)

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

A island paradise, some friends, and no computer...

Aack!! I went on vacation intending to update my blog to tell y'all I would be gone for a few days, only to forget completely about doing so!! Everything is fine, we are all well, and in fact we are all tan and relaxed and fantastic. We spent five days at Ben's family's house on Catalina Island soaking up some sun and down time with Ben, Aunty Mop, Lily Jane, Devon, Richard and Luke. We spent a lot of time talking, cooking, eating, drinking, wandering around town, swimming, and simply relaxing. Here is a sampling of the myriad of moments I caught on camera.

Lily enjoys a good book on the ferry ride overMonkey is too cool in her movie star glasses
We pass the Queen Mary on our way out to sea
The house where relaxation happens
The garden where we sit in awe at the amazing profusion of color
Otter taste tests the Catalina beachfront
and contemplates the ocean next to our amazing sand castle
Ben begins serious construction on the castle (Luke watches in the background)
Ben, Richard, and Monkey shape their sandy vision with some hard work and water
Ben and Lee add to the Sand Castle version of Catalina's Casino (while Luke reads a book)
Monkey army crawls towards the water's edge after making some sand shapes
The army crawl continues... and continues
Aunty Mop and Lily investigate the powers of sand shovels
I greet my husband in the usual style
Daddy and Otter wander into the ocean
"Mama? Dada? This stuff is cold. I am not sure I should have my feet in it."

Monkey dashes between beach and castle, ever ready to assist with sand dampening
Lily and Aunty Mop splash and play
Mommy and Otter enjoy a break from the wavesMonkey strides confidently into the cold
Aunty Mop and Lily Jane march into the water Mommy and Otter catch a few waves
Monkey sits in the waves, trying to convince herself it's warm enough to swim
Monkey stands atop a mountain overlooking the sea where we sat and searched for seals, whales, and dolphins. (Many a seal was seen, though no whales or dolphins.)
Otter dubiously rides strapped to the back of a golf cart. Initially he was a little nervous, but he began to enjoy it after a few minutes. (There are no cars really allowed on Catalina, so everyone drives golf carts around.)
Ben and Monkey smile goonishly after Ben has allowed Monkey to steer the golf cart up the mountain. (Later, he would let her steer it down. I closed my eyes and prayed.)
What Otter looks like strapped to the back of a golf cart
Otter and Ben hang out at the top of the world.

There was more, there is always more. I caught 337 pictures of the vacation, so I will not be posting all of them. However, there were many moments of baby cuteness between Lily and Otter, along with some more beach fun, so I will likely toss a few more up tomorrow.

I was a little apprehensive about going on this trip, because the last time I went Nick was along and I was a little afraid his absence would be glaring and painful. It really wasn't. I was able to remember the fun we had, feel a pang or two, and then relax and enjoy the days with the people I love. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends. It was a real joy to catch up with them and just slow down for a while. I didn't want to return to the real world.

Tomorrow I will share with you my take of the travel day from hell, along with more stories of island bliss. Sorry I didn't alert you to my vacation beforehand. I am touched to have been checked in with as much as I have, thanks for caring so much about me!!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Baaoon Mama... Baaoon!

99 dreams I have had
In every one a red balloon
It's all over and I'm standin' pretty
In this dust that was a city
If I could find a souvenir
Just to prove the world was here
And here is a red balloon
I think of you and let it go
-- 99 Red Balloons Nena

Whenever I hear this song I think back to my youth, and get a sense of freedom and joy, an overwhelming desire to spin.

That desire popped, much like a balloon, as soon as I learned that we are depleting our helium reserves in the U.S., and the helium balloon, that amazing anti-gravity children's toy, may not be around for my grandkids. Imagine not seeing the wonder in a baby's face as he tries to figure out why this thing goes up... instead of down.

Helium is non-renewable and irreplaceable. There are pockets of the gas in Colorado, Kansas and Oklahoma and Russia has large pockets of natural gas, helium included, but there has not been a push to extract it. Further, a great deal of Helium is lost in the process of separating it from oil and natural gas. As the oil and gas are brought out of the ground, the Helium comes with them, but it is not captured as it releases, so it drifts up into the atmosphere and ... away. The world's largest pocket of Helium is located in the Texas Panhandle, and at our current rate of use, that reserve will be depleted by 2015.

In personal terms, this means Monkey will probably not have a balloon arch at her prom, and Otter may not be choosing a balloon from a vendor at a carnival by the time he is eight.

Helium can be produced directly in nuclear fusion reactors, and is an indirect side effect of fisson reactors, but the amount created by both these sources don't begin to reach our current use. Basically, it has taken billions of years for the Earth to create our Helium stores, so it's not really a build on demand kind of resource.

Helium can be recycled, and the larger industries users, such as NASA, do recycle it. However, any Helium released into the atmosphere is lost to the Earth forever, and there are no small users currently recycling the gas. To learn more, read up on the issue.

If we are not careful with our Helium, we will be waving goodbye to a childhood tradition, in addition to a scientific resource. This is such a amazing substance, with nothing else like it on earth. It is our connection to the unbelievable, the fantastic, the magical. Let's do our best to keep it around.



"Bbvvoomm... Ma ma na... Baavmmm"

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Is it Ground Hog Day or am I a Stay at Home Parent?

There is nothing quite like stay at home parenting to make a person feel an overall sense of deja vu. My routine, for the most part, is pretty much the same, day in and day out. The list of my core duties goes on and on, but I won't bore you with the details of it (it's not necessary for this post).
I will say that of the number of mundane things I do each day I feel the strongest sense of deja vu while sweeping the floor. I have to sweep the floor every morning, because we have more pets than sense, and therefore a pet fur carpet if left unswept more than a day. (Go two days and we begin to get tumblefur.)

Lately I have been feeling an increased sense of having done this all before. This feeling is stronger than "Oh yeah, I did this yesterday!". It's a deeper sense of bone weary repetition. The mundane daily chores of life leave me feeling a distinct lack of ...well distinctness in my day. It's as if the days in my life are all merging into one, and I am living that one day over and over again. Like Bill Murray in Ground Hog Day.

I am sure this feeling is not mine alone, and is shared by other stay at home parents as well as people working outside the home. After all, there is nothing like a mundane 9-5 office job to make one's days pass in a blur. However, I think the isolation of stay at home parenting increases the sense of futility that comes with these repeating chores. I mean, except for tumblefur, why bother sweeping the floor when I will only have to do it again the following day? Why wash the clothes when they will only get dirty again? All the work I do all day has no lasting accomplishment. I can't point to it say "Look! I spent x hours building this amazing thing that will stand for all eternity!" I can say "Look! I scrubbed the floors last week with a new cleanser, and now they are... crud, now they are covered in pet hair and juice spots again."

It's a strange feeling, this sense of not doing anything lasting. Intellectually I recognize that raising my children and caring for them is lasting in a way nothing else really is, but that doesn't mean I am able to step back and admire my handiwork at the end of a long day. Usually, I am only able to collapse on the sofa and mumble "the kids kicked my ass today... would you please get me a beer?" to my husband at the end of a long day.

There is no milestone for stay at home parents, nothing that makes us recognize that all our hard work has paid off this month, or this week, or this year. We get to share in our kids accomplishments, and our those of our partner's, but let's face it, there aren't a lot of childhood dreams that center on being house bitch, so no one is out there creating any House Bitch of the Year recognition plaques.

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